How to Embrace Your Challenges and Love Your Obstacles
What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word “challenge”?
For me, I immediately think “tough” and “obstacle.” But as I let the word sink in, I also hear “growth” and “opportunity.”
So I hate the word challenge and I love word challenge. The first time I really understood the power of growth through challenge was almost three years ago. Actually, it was the same summer I had started this lil ‘ol blog.
After an incredible study abroad experience my junior year of college, I embarked on my next adventure: a summer interning in New York City. But it was a little different from the galavanting I had been doing in London and around Europe. This time around, I was in a two bedroom apartment in Washington Heights (not exactly Sex in the City) with 4 other girls, going to an internship I dreaded, knowing almost no one, overwhelmed by the crazy, messy, dirty, loud, wonderful, scary city that is New York.
I went into the summer thinking it would be study abroad part two, but I quickly realized that I was in way over my head. My good ‘ol friend depression came to visit, I struggled to make any kind of impact at my internship, as a 20-year-old without a fake ID I felt restricted by my inability to enjoy the night life, oh and I was broker than broke trying to figure out how to pay for my last year of college.
At first, I blamed my problems on New York rather than leaning into the challenges (or opportunities) that seemed to face me at every turn. Nothing was familiar, every day I did something wrong, including but not limited to: finding out the hard way what the difference between a local and express train was, forgetting my dress shoes at home and wearing sneakers with a dress to work, staring at a computer blankly for an entire day in complete fear of asking for help or guidance on my internship project, somehow getting sucked into donating way too much money to a cause that I don’t even remember because I didn’t know how to avoid the solicitors on the street, getting lost in a grid system, falling hard for someone who I knew wasn’t right for me, standing in redonkulous lines just to get a bag of groceries at Trader Joe’s that I would then have to haul for 120 blocks and being cat called relentlessly until I learned the art of the “don’t fuck with me face.”
But as I look back at the summer, which at the time felt like a hot miserable mess, my heart smiles. Without it I never would have explored a city I now completely love, I never would have learned that I deserve to be with someone who is excited to be with me, I never would have learned what it means to share a tiny New York apartment just to make things work, I never would have realized that I didn’t want to follow the traditional career path for my major and I never would have taken that long run on a hot July today that inspired me to start a little blog called In it 4 the Long Run.
It’s a cliche old as time. You know this. Everyone will tell you that the tough shit makes you stronger.
But here’s the twist…
…you’ve got the first part down, you know you need the challenges in your life to make you the best version of yourself, but unlike my New York experience they don’t need to make you miserable.
The next step is enjoying the stuff that makes you sweat (literally and metaphorically). If I could go back to that summer I wouldn’t change anything but my perspective. Instead of wishing the 10 weeks would end I would have asked myself as I stumbled over and over again “what I am I learning?” “where’s the comedy in this situation?” (because trust me, I’d laugh at myself a lot if I were me today).
[Tweet “These are the 2 questions you should ask yourself when you’re going through a challenge”]
Let me challenge you to challenge yourself to embrace the challenge.
Haha, sorry I couldn’t help myself. What I’m trying to say is: be grateful for the obstacles in your life and try to practice enjoying the struggle DURING the process instead of just looking back. Because if you’re lucky and you’re driven then I’m guessing a whole lot of your life is going to be challenging. Why don’t we make it fun too?
Today I’m linking up with Amanda’s Thinking Out Loud series
Your Turn:
What was the last time you learned something from a challenge?
2
So wise Georgie! I’ve been challenged all semester in a modern class that I absolutely LOVE, but there were definitely some days where I wanted to throw in the towel. Or I would get upset at myself because I wasn’t trying my hardest or kept messing up. I’ve now learned not to take anything too seriously because it messes with your mental sanity. Now I just laugh it off, life’s too short to let little things like forgetting choreography get to you. Thank you for your words of wisdom lovely <3
I cannot even imagine how hard that would be! I’m sure it can be so easy to put enormous amounts of pressure on yourself. Finding that drive but also the balance of humor is certainly an art that hopefully we can all get wonderful at <3 Always love hearing from you Marina <3
This was perfect, Georgie. I think it’s hard getting to that place where you’re confident that you’ll come out stronger on the other end of your struggles. But you’re right; everything should be taken as a learning experience. The good and the bad!
Oh heck yeah – there are definitely some days where I think a challenge will break me for good but so far so good <3
This is so perfect. I for one love being challenged, wether is be physically or mentally, but I do know sometimes that a struggle or trying time can get to feel like all too much. It can consume you and it can make you feel so small. My favorite memories are the victories Ive had in which I’ve risen about my struggles. I don’t even think about coming out better for it, I just focus on surviving, and somehow always DO end up coming out better and stronger. Thank you for sharing!! <3
Could not agree more! Yes challenges definitely humble you to the core.
I’m working on this right now as I spend some time doing a job I know is not for me in my long run, focusing on the other awesome things in my life and embracing the challenge that the year presents. It can be tough, but worth it like you said.
Good luck Alyssa – I know you can do it – if nothing else it will be the north star that guides you to what you DO want to do eventually <3
yea girrrrrl, love this positive spin on a tough situation. We never seem to see past the challenges when they’re actually happening, until much later. New York is a toughhhh place to crack (from someone whos actually never been there but heard SO MANY STORIES), I can imagine that i would probably be have been feeling pretty down about everything too. Glad you made it through and perfected the art of the resting bitch face.
Oh girl my bitch face was soo strong, I scared myself sometimes too. yeah New York is a cray cray magical place – I hope I can live there a least for a little some day
Nice job girl! Some of the things I had to challenge through were only done bc I knew that things HAD to get better. It’s so tough going through things like that, but it’s so important to look for the lessons while you’re going through them and not only after youre done. So glad you’re where you are today!
Thank you so much Erin – it’s definitely not easy to find the lesson during the challenge but I’m learning that it takes the pressure of needing to have a “perfect” life
This reminds me of my study abroad experience in Spain. I was miserable until the last month of it when I finally realized I needed to embraced the newness and unknown. After I got home, I realized what an amazing time I had and felt guilty I spent so much of it thinking how I missed home.
I can totally relate – newness is exhausting and the lure of comfort is so strong. Finding that balance is something I think we all struggle with
I love looking back on sucky situations and reflecting on how it changed me for the better. I weirdly wrote about this in my post today, but senior year in college I was in charge of leading a group for an organization. I was suuuuper nervous about leading meetings and basically being in charge of them. I grew so much as a person and gained a ton of confidence through this experience!
That’s so great Amanda – my motto is “if it scares you then you probably should do it” – a healthy fear is usually a sign of pending growth
LOVE! This actually reminds me of that quote that goes something like “the happiest people don’t have the best of everything – they just make the best of everything they have.” I’m a big believer that (outside of mental illness) happiness is a choice, and that the attitude we choose to approach life with is so much more important than the circumstances we deal with. There’s good to be found in every situation – we just have to be willing to look for it.
Thank you Amanda <3 Yes! I love that so much. I got to a point where I was able to dig myself out of depression but for a long time I was stagnant in finding happiness because I expected it to "happen" to me rather than making my own.
This was great. I have definitely had some challenging experiences in the last 2 years, living in 6 different states, doing internships (unpaid or underpaid), a relationship ending, etc. There have definitely been some dark days and I do tend to think “what if” I had made a different decision, moved somewhere else, not moved, etc. Supposedly everything happens for a reason, right? I’m looking forward to the day I uncover that reason.
Girl, I feel you. Moving is truly exhausting. Before I moved my most recent time I was in a place where I struggled to connect and make friends and it’s so tricky not having your people with you. Just keep truckin’ and reach out to me any time if you ever want to chat <3
“Where is comedy in this situation?” is my kind of attitude! I literally make fun of all my problems when I can`t solve them. Life seems to be easier that way.
Ahh so glad you can relate! Love the saying “if you’re not laughing you’re crying” – always seems fitting
This is such a great perspective, and something I really needed to hear right now, thank you!
Thank you Sarah! So glad we could connect on this
Omg girl…you and I literally had the same experience. I spent my first two years of college in New York City and I was okay my first year because my two best friends from home went with me. My second year, I was stuck in a makeshift bedroom with one of my best friends and another girl we had befriended our first year. (My other best friend from home went back home). Both of them started making their own life in New York City and I did not. My second year there I also had an internship which sucked he life out of me on top of school classes. With all the stress and isolation (I didn’t have a fake ID either and had no social life), I also became depressed for the first time in my life. That is also where my eating disorder started. Everyone in NYC is so damn skinny and judgmental of looks and I wanted to be skinny and fit in as the “NYC type.” Needless to say after that second horrible year, I moved back hom and transferred schools to one close to home that I could commute to. It still makes me sad to think back on that experience. But it also made me stronger like you mention in your post.
Ah I am so sorry you had to go through that but it sounds like you were able to summon the courage to get out of a bad situation. Being in a negative environment can totally suck the life out of you but also remind you how good it feels to feel good
Love love love this! It’s hard to struggle in that moment but thankfully things work out. My college experience wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows and I kept looking at other people, wondering when it would all fall into place. While I sure didn’t love it then, those four years made me realize what I wanted, how I wanted to act, and who I wanted to hang out with. I realized that I needed to let my personality shine rather than attempt to be someone else. That’s another reason this blog word is so amazing – the ability to connect with like-minded peeps 🙂 You go girl!
You just described my high school experience to the T. It’s so tough being in a situation where you cannot let your light shine but it usually helps you realize how find the best in even those less than ideal situations
I couldn’t agree more Georgie about the importance of embracing the obstacles and challenges. I have seen from my own past, that some of my lowest valleys, have shaped me and strengthened me in ways I never would have been without going through them. I love this more personal post, and look at you now…DOIN BIG THINGS <33
xo,
Sarah Grace
Aww Sarah Grace, thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment. It’s not easy to be grateful at the time but thank god for all the things that make us bad asses!
My favourite kind of poss? Ones that make me think or change perspective. Yours did so: thank you, Georgie. Trying to rethink situations from another perspective and finding the silver lining in just about everything have been my saviours in past months. Though actually enjoying the struggle at the very moment is something I still need to work on. For the most part I see the good only when looking back. I guess there’s no easy way to change this?!
Ugh cat-calling is the worst. I too perfected the “don’t fuck with me” face but in the streets of Panama City not NYC. Using our challenges as opportunities, even when it’s really hard to see it- can be such a blessing. My own personal mother challenge of all challenges was with anorexia and orthorexia. But without it, I never would have started my blog or went on to be a support and friend to all the young women who have reached out to me. Everything happens for a reason
That’s one hell of a challenge but like you said it’s given you an incredible opportunity to connect with and teach others <3
Keeping a level head (maybe not initially, but eventually) has been helping me embrace the challenges. I can be pretty negative and irritable about new challenges at first, but trying to remember that a) hard times will pass, and b) I can grow from this is hard to remember but looking back, good for character hahaha.
Totally – it’s natural to be a little frustrated/negative but giving yourself the perspective check can certainly help
Thank you so much for writing this post! I’m currently going through a very long, very frustrating running injury and sometimes I’m so overwhelmed with feelings of failure and frustration that I don’t know how I’ll ever get back to being “normal me”. But since becoming injured I’ve learned more about my body and how to keep it safe while running, started strength training, learned how to swim and ride a bike, and in two weeks I’ll be doing my first triathlon! I would never have done any of these things without becoming injured, and while I’m devastated about not being able to run I do have to stop and appreciate all the good things that have happened because of the injury. Thanks for helping me stay positive!
I’m so sorry about your injury – I can’t imagine how frustrating that must feel. It does sound like you’ve taken it and made it into a positive experience which I’m sure has only made you stronger <3
This is a wonderful story. Not every moment in life will be perfect or planned but it’s all about how you deal and react to the situations that you encounter. Thanks for the reminder 🙂