How an unfollowing and unfriending spree lead me to embrace growth and gracefully let go of the past.
This post has been slowly brewing in my head for a while. Actually, I like to call the initial stage of my writing process: the marination. As I live my life, events and thoughts start sticking together into bigger ideas. They float around in my head and marinate into what usually becomes a cohesive blog post.
Today I want to apologize and explain why I might have unfollowed you. I want to share where my head’s at. How as I’m evolving, my brand is evolving. Maybe you’ve been feeling something similar and have been looking for the permission to keep growing, or scarier the permission to let go of what you aren’t anymore.
The Initial Facebook Purge
Here’s what happened. One night lying in bed, I decided that I no longer need 1,500 Facebook friends. My digital life felt so crowded and suffocated. I felt like I barely had space to connect and consume content from the people I am close to. I couldn’t focus on my present life when so many people from my past kept coming up over and over again. So that night I one-by-one unfriended over 1,000 people. Acquaintances from high school, college, jobs, summer camps, a couple “I seriously have no idea who you are” friends.
In addition to the un-friending spree, I started muting and unliking pages that didn’t serve me as they came up in my feed. I left random groups. Afterwards I felt the same freedom and relief that comes from decluttering everything that doesn’t serve you anymore in your home. So many people have come into my life in wonderful ways. I said a little “goodbye” to each one. I thought about memories we had had together. It felt like closure on a lot of different events.
It’s not that I don’t like these people or don’t care for them. Rather I need space for the people who are present in my life now.
Content Overload
Then, I performed this same spree across all platforms, both personal and business.
The hardest account was my @init4thelongrunblog instagram. It’s the feed I check and interact with the most. It has the most conscious and subconscious effect on my thoughts and feelings.
And I did something I’ve been scared to do for years. I unfollowed most people, especially food accounts. It was a mixed bag of pure relief and release combined with a little guilt. But ultimately I knew I had to do it for my own growth and for the evolution of this blog and this brand.
I realized that what I had been consuming daily was no longer helping me grow. I had to let go a part of who I was, in order to become who I want to be.
So I just wanted to explain myself a little. Maybe it will make you feel more at ease if you’ve been wanting to do the same.
I’m sorry I unfollowed you.
I know in this world of number counting and metrics obsession, it might sting a little, I know it does for me. I promise it’s not personal. In fact, I’ve really enjoyed getting to see a slice of your life over the years. I wish I could run into you at a coffee shop or in a whole foods for a “hi” and a hug. But alas we’re probably thousands of miles apart.
I’m sorry I unfollowed you. I’m nauseated writing out this cliche, but it really isn’t anything you did, it’s me.
This summer, I hit a breaking point with my blog and brand. I realized that I wasn’t meant to be a food blogger. It didn’t bring me joy. It wasn’t my path. I was following the numbers, not my heart or even my skill set. Transitioning away from food content was really challenging. It was so much a part of what I did. Once I knew I wanted to change, I decided to change slowly to avoid alienating myself and everyone in my community.
But like my burnout, I also hit a critical point in my content consumption. I was stuffed.
[Tweet “I got to a point where I just got exhausted looking at food in my feed all day, every day”]
I got to a point where I just got exhausted looking at food in my feed all day, every day. Exhausted by my subconscious daily breakfast comparisons. Tired of thinking about food all the time. Fatigued with the power food held over my life still after all this time. Sure I’m miles and miles from where I once was around food. But having a social media feed constantly full of food somehow created this strange unsatiated hunger, always. There was always something more to eat to look at to drool over. A new trend or product to try. It was far beyond meal inspiration. It felt like I couldn’t turn it off or escape from food. Strangely it desensitized my own tastebuds. It was more important that what I ate looked nice, rather than taste or feel good.
[Tweet “”Evolving involves eliminating” – Erykah Badu”]
So I’m sorry if I had to unfollow you.
It feels strange to be leaving behind a part of me that got me where I am: the food blogging world. I have so much respect for it and all involved. It makes such a positive impact on the world and those who are involved are brimming with talent and drive.
It’s kind of silly, but I almost equate this shift in my brand like changing majors in college. I started in college as a television radio major. I dreamed of writing for comedy shows. After my first year, I knew deep down that wasn’t my path. I switched into marketing communications and it instantly felt like what I was suited to do. I dearly missed my TV/R friends and we still ran into each other. Sometimes I thought about what would have been if I had stayed. I watched my friends moved to LA and New York and work for major tv networks. Deep down I knew that I never would have thrived had I stayed that course.
I feel the exact same way leaving the food blogging world, seeing my friends doing incredible things. I wonder what life might have been like if I stayed. They’re thriving and embracing incredible opportunities. I feel a deep knowing that I would never have thrived that way.
A Little Lost and a Lot at Peace
Right now I’m having a bit of a blogger identity crisis. I’m not a food blogger. Not really a typical “healthy living” blogger. I just love writing about finding joy, natural wellness and navigating the beautiful mess that is life.
I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that when you grow and change you might have to let go of parts of yourself you’re still fond of. You can still honor your past without needing to keep being who you were.
[Tweet “When you grow and change you might have to let go of parts of yourself you’re still fond of”]
I’m excited to attract and connect with the people who will resonate with my message. I’m coming to terms with letting go and saying goodbye to people, who I very much care about, who the message won’t resonate with. I feel so grateful for everyone I meet along the path no matter how long we walk together.
Your Turn:
- Have you ever had an unfollow spree or even a clutter clearing that helped clear space to grow?
What a beautiful, vulnerable post as always Georgie. Thanks for sharing a piece of yourself with us. And honoring your realness by taking the path less taken.
It’s like spring cleaning…Sometimes you just need to purge things that don’t serve you anymore to feel lighter, more organized, and happier, because you aren’t surrounded by all that clutter. I totally get it. Lately I have been going through my IG feed and noticing that I too am getting tired of looking at food. Right now, I want to be inspired by women, supported by them, and see REAL stuff. Amen woman for cleaning it up and unfollowing those who no longer serve you. PS: Miss you and hope you are doing fabulous! XOXO
How you write things I didn’t know I needed to read is incredible. (<– that was a roundabout way of saying this post resonated with me). Content consumption overload is REAL and I hit my breaking point a few weeks ago, part of the reason I haven't been so active on social and the blog. I have a long car ride this weekend and I will be doing some reflection (and action) around this.
YES to all of this. I’ve been slowly doing this as I scroll through feeds and accounts over time. It’s very cathartic and gives me time to actually interact with people I connect with. I absolutely understand where you are w your blog as well. I decided that I wasn’t going to write about only physical health or food, but that my whole well being comes from a balance of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health which is what I try and convey in my different posts.
If people can’t respect the steps you need to take to better yourself and grow, then they aren’t people you want to follow anyways. Kudos on recognizing what you needed and not being afraid to get it done. I always go through de-cluttering at home and at work when I’m feeling too overwhelmed to get stuff done, so a social media detox might be needed next.
So I have 86 friends on Facebook. Don’t need more, only my family, real friends and people from University (It’s mainly why I have Facebok at all). It never felt bad unfriending (didn’t know it was a word xD) someone, with who I’m no longer in contact.
Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my mother tongue.
Greetings from Poland 🙂
I was going to unfriend a bunch of people on FB but it was right before I was going to my high school reunion so I thought “now’s not a good time!” LOL. So I just hid a lot of their news feeds but stayed friends with them. I hate when I unfriend someone and then they send me a friend request again shortly after. #awkward
I, too, have been unfollowing and unfriending for the past few months. If I’m scrolling past, or rolling my eyes, you’re cut, because I don’t want things in my life are net negative for me.
As my IG account grew and I gained followers, I started following back almost everyone that followed me. It got so overwhelming. I would scroll through my feed and not see any of my favorite accounts. I gained followers, but lost my account in the process. I recently unfollowed just about everyone. I felt really guilty in the beginning, but it honestly left good to let that go. Things change, our paths change, we change and I’ve been learning that if it doesn’t serve me, I should leave it behind. Carrying any baggage only holds us back.
I have been slowly doing this, but feel like I need to just jump right in and do it. Like ripping off a bandaid or something. I always feel so refreshed when I clean up my space at home, so why not social media. Half of the time I fall into the comparison trap when scrolling through IG and I don’t want my feed to be filled with negative thoughts.
I don’t even know where to start; Georgie the way you wrote was so kind, truthful, and real; you said it in a way I’m not sure I could have said it. A while ago I unfollowed a bunch of people on Instagram, not because I didn’t like them as people, but because our brands and the things we’re passionate about just don’t align. I did feel content stuffed when I was following 300 people; because I do love to comment and ask questions, but I was trying to do that on every single one, and I was just a scatter brained mess; I’m sure my comments came off as disingenuine and sometimes, even forced, which makes me kind of sad. I’m in a bit of a blogger identity crisis too right now, but I really see you defining your niche so well Georgie. You share life lessons with such grace; you just have the gift for it.
This post is beautiful. It perfectly describes how I’ve been feeling lately.. but it’s so weird how I feel like it takes COURAGE to unfollow people. But at the end of the day… we have to distance ourselves. Even friends, sometimes. I admire your self-awareness and ability to follow your heart. I wish I could just unfollow everyone at once, but I’m not that brave! I’ve been doing it slowly a little bit each day, but my head already feels clearer, and it’s like a weight is lifted off of my shoulders. It’s sad when a community that can bring so much joy can also bring some negativity — just about finding that balance. Thanks for the read <3
Thanks for sharing your heart, Georgie! It’s so fascinating to watch people like you face challenges and overcome obstacles. Your decision to modify your blog posts in ways that you are passionate about is so encouraging to see! Keep inspiring your readers and keep doing you. It’s a pleasure to listen to your words.
Loved this piece. As a new blogger this perspective is everything. I’m learning that my audience won’t likely include other bloggers and the content of others won’t make me who I am, I need to find my inspiration within my strengths, passions and uncertainties in life. I have also learned from counter sources that to grow a following, I have to follow thousands of other bloggers and tell them they’re doing a great job for attention and exposure. In ways we need to support each other for the end goal of teaching people to be healthy and happy in their own way, but compromising our happiness with content overload is not practicing what we preach to others. I think you find yourself in an identity crisis but on your own, away from the masses, you know just exactly who you want to be. Be that, be you and feel how amazing it feels to shine. It feels like it’s been raining for weeks and you’re finally feeling the sun shine on your skin. Boss lady ?❤️?
As always so freaking spot on. I’m going through a similar struggle — no longer “identifying” as a fitness blogger, I’m a yoga teacher and former personal trainer who works out but doesn’t feel inclined to write about it so much anymore.
I also feel rather bombarded on social media these days, in growing my own accounts it’s become overwhelming to even enjoy and interact with others. I’ll have to follow your lead and perform a mega purge soon.
georgie, thank you for giving me permission to do what has been on the forefront of my mind for weeks now! i feel a change coming, and it’s unnerving when you don’t know what’s on the other side, all you know deep in your bones is that you have to take that leap of faith and go for it! XO madison
SO RELATABLE. I actually did an unfollow binge last month on both IG and my personal FB. And it felt GOOD. And actually, I think it’s time to go through my IG again and remove a few more accounts. I notice that I get way too wrapped up in it sometimes and get overwhelmed by seeing all the magical, wonderful things my fellow IG-bloggers create. It’s hard to feel creative when I’m so inundated with others’ creations. Thanks so much for sharing this post, Georgie!
I have definitely done this, both in real life and online. But it’s true, if things do not serve you, you need to let them go!
Yes Georgie this is beautiful! I go on unfollowing sprees all the time and it’s so therapeutic. I’m loving your podcast and everything you’re putting out, thanks for being so real and honest ! It’s inspiring!
This is a great post! I so know how you feel with so much content coming at you everyday. Especially if that content isn’t fulfilling you anymore, it feels good to let it go! Good for you for doing so!
My word of intention in 2017 is ‘Restore’. I could go on and on about what this looks like in my life three months in – because it has been a powerful year so far – but it has related to social media so much. I spent the end of last year feeling like each week I needed a detox from social media. I knew the answer wouldn’t be to continue all these detoxes and hiatuses; I needed to find a way to restore my relationship with social media. This meant unfollowing a lot of people, and I started to find the comparisons fall away. If I found myself in a negative spiral of a feed, I would stop and ask myself if it was worth the anxiety and negativity (most of the time it wasn’t) so I would unfollow. I can now say I find my feed supportive, inspiring and ‘mine’ – it feels like my own little tribe to follow.
I haven’t blogged in months. The reality is that other things in life have needed my focus and I had to realize my blog was/is a hobby. And in this season of my life, it was taking so much joy away from my day-to-day life. So I’m still figuring it out, and also wanting to begin again. I’m with you on not knowing where I fall, and what I’m realizing is that my favorite people to follow, whether on Insta or their blog, are the people who write out their heart and soul and just about their lives in general. You are one of those people for me.
i go through facebook unfriend spree every now and then, like seriously how are we even friends? being a food blogger, i have a lot of food blog naturally on my space too and sometimes i get so burned out..which is why other areas of my interest like travel, fashion, nature etc helps keep me inspired. im so glad you are able to take this scary + exciting steps. sending you good juju 🙂
I totally understand where you’re coming from, with everything. I had a short run as a “food blogger” because I loved eating healthy (and I still do), but I really wasn’t passionate about food blogging. I like eating delicious food and throwing quick meals together, but I honestly hate cooking! I love photography, I love writing, and I love sharing my interests with people, and I think that’s all you really need to be a blogger (+ a lot of self motivation/work ethic)! Nothing is better than creating a blog post of something you’re truly passionate about!
I am happy for you!
XX -KK
http://www.KayleeKarcher.com
#ObsessedWithEverything
Well I guess I will be the one person to say that I disagree with this to a certain extent. I think for Facebook it’s silly to unfriend someone unless you don’t like them because you are literally saying “I don’t want to be friends with you” when there is a clear way where you don’t have to see their feed by unfollowing them.
People aren’t things you can just clean out like “spring cleaning.” I think it’s important to consider the fact that you will show up in those 1000 friends’ suggested friends list and most of them will probably wonder what they did wrong or why they weren’t cool enough or interesting enough to stay friends with you.
Because they are real people. Not numbers.
As far as Instagram and Twitter..I get that if you notice you aren’t into someone’s content you unfollow them, but to go through and eliminate and throw away (real people with real feelings) just seems mean.
Of course I respect you have your own feelings on this matter, but I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. As one of the people who wasn’t good enough to make the cut, I’m hurt and confused and wondering why I tried to make the connection in the first place.
I’m a real person you decided wasn’t good enough to be your friend anymore and I’m letting you know–it doesn’t feel great.
Best of luck in your new ventures. I sincerely hope you find the satisfaction and happiness you are looking for.
Hi Amanda – I’m so glad you responded and I appreciate your thoughtful words. I completely agree that people are far more than numbers. I sincerely apologize if you felt hurt or left behind. People I may have unfriended are still amazing wonderful fantastic people who I’m beyond grateful touched my life in some way. I can absolutely guarantee it’s not anything personal.Perhaps my language wasn’t perfect when describing my process but I don’t see it like “cleaning.” However I do still feel like I had people in my digital life that I didn’t know or weren’t really a part of my life at this time. I used to be afraid to let go of certain aspects of my life or put boundaries on my time but at this point in my journey I know it’s important to monitor what kind of content I consume and make extra time for people who are close.
Again I’ve never done this in a malicious or mean way and I’m sorry if it came off that way.
With a love, always
Georgie
Thank you for this response, Georgie.
I never said you did this out of malice, but what I was saying is that these actions have negative consequences you might not see.
Simply saying you didn’t mean to hurt anyone doesn’t mean that you didn’t hurt any of the 1000+ people you eliminated. Humans have feelings (although it would be MUCH easier if we didn’t ha) and losing a friend hurts.
I know you have your reasons, but I think it’s good to have the full picture of what you are doing.
You are also advocating what you did with this post, so I wanted your readers to see the other side just in case they were considering doing the same.
Again best of luck in your journey! I’m glad to have connected for a bit.