Here are my confessions. Yeah I’m channeling my inner Usher to share all the things that I love and struggle with as a blogger.
“So what do you do?”
“Well… I run a health and lifestyle blog?”
“You can make money from that?”
Cue the rambling explanation where I explain that somehow I scramble to make enough money between ads, and sponsors and affiliates and ebooks and freelance to make things work-ish.
Cue the nagging insecurity that makes me question why I had the balls to even say that I blog as my career.
Cue the self-doubt that makes me question whether what I do makes any difference or am I just being self-indulgent.
Cue the other voice in my head, calm and quiet, my consummate cheerleader telling me that what I’m doing matters. Bless her.
I started my blog back when blogs were online journals decorated with poorly lit iPhone 4 pictures. My blog was born out of boredom at a disappointing internship.
Somewhere along the way I got hooked. I got hooked to the idea that people might read what I write and even cooler, care. I loved that I could connect with women who wanted to geek out about what we love. I got hooked to finding purpose in my own struggles by sharing them with the internet.
And somewhere along the line, I had the audacity to pursue this passion project as a career. I knew from a young age I wanted to own a business, that I wanted to be a boss. I never imagined that business would start from a blog.
Blogging is amazing. It’s messy and confusing and challenging and awesome and scary and fun and exhilarating. It comes with so many ups, a fair share of downs.
And so I wanted to share some confessions from a blogger.
Things I’m a little afraid to say and want to say. I always want to keep it 100 with you whether you’re a reader, a sponsor or a fellow blogger. I’m not transparent just because I think it’s the right thing to do (although I do). I also need to be transparent because otherwise I just can’t put my heart into it. And for me to be successful, my personal definition of successful, I need my heart.
So in a very Usher circa 2000’s move these are my confessions:
Confession: I know the “riches are in the niches” but it’s not sustainable for me personally
If my only goal with blogging was to run it as a financially successful business I would probably still be writing about vegetarian food. Or I would get hyper focused on one aspect of wellness. Or just one aspect of anything. It’s a documented internet growth truth that the more niche you are, the faster you will grow.
It totally makes sense – be known for something. If you have a super niche audience, it’s easy to know what partnerships makes sense. It’s easier to figure out what content to create because you have your lane and you get creative within it. It works so well for so many bloggers. Blogs I love following.
However, I know myself enough to know it just isn’t what I am best suited for. So here I am. Is it wellness? Is it lifestyle? What does wellness or lifestyle even mean? I don’t know, but I think I’m writing about it.
Confession: I’m not an health expert – which can make me insecure at times
My bachelor’s degree is in Integrated Marketing Communications. I’m not even an expert in that because, well I’m only 25. When it comes to health, I’m just a human guinea pig and endlessly curious. Does that qualify me to write a wellness blog? To be honest, I don’t know.
I don’t even know what I’d want to become an expert in anyway. Health coaching seems like a great fit, I just need to get over my own limiting beliefs around being a 25 year old coach.
What I definitely I know is that I will never ever (like ever) claim to know what YOU need for YOUR health better than YOU do. For the time being, I’m sharing my journey, my support, resources I love, and the lessons I learn along the way. Some days I’m afraid that’s just not enough. Most days I know it is.
Confession: Wellness privilege is real – health is wealth and sometimes you need some wealth to take care of your health
The truth is this stuff is expensive. Yes, not everyone needs to shop at Whole Foods to get fresh produce. However, I need to acknowledge my privilege in this industry. I have the means to buy organic, to buy supplements, to spend $10 on a healthy lunch when I’m too busy to cook. Most days I have the time to make healthy food at home, to take rest when I need it, to sleep in when I’m not feeling good. I have an able body to move when I need and want to.
I never want to pretend this is easy or available to everyone. At times I feel torn promoting products that could be considered such luxuries to certain groups of people. I don’t have any answers. I just feel compelled to acknowledge the privilege in this industry. That’s not to say it’s bad to spend this money and time on our health. I do it every day. But that’s a privilege. And that is important to acknowledge.
Confession: I love that authenticity is so widely appreciated, however I always fear that important words get overused and lose their powerful meaning.
I LOVE the word authentic. I believe it’s one of the most attractive qualities a person or a business can have. To be true to oneself isn’t easy either. It means saying “no” a lot. It means taking risks, taking criticism. It means leaving money on the table to be true to what you stand for. It also means apologizing when you do it wrong. I worry authentic will be thrown around as a word to add on to a strategy versus being the core of every choice.
Confession: I’m not trying to be brave when I’m being vulnerable, I just actually don’t know how to operate any other way
I really do appreciate when friends, family and readers reach out to let me know they thought I was brave to share something on the blog. But the truth is I’ve never felt brave. I want to confess that sharing hard things is a huge part of how I heal personally.
I’m not waiting for validation on my story, I just believe if I can shed light and help even one person it’s worth it. I write what I wish I could have read. Even if I can’t change anyone’s experience, I want them to know they aren’t the only one.
I know people will judge me positively or negatively based on their own values and life experience, that’s just life. It won’t stop my from sharing my truth. I’m not afraid to talk about taboo or difficult topics topics anymore. It’s second nature now.
Confession: While I know my value is far deeper than my numbers, I still get caught up… a lot
I tell people this ALL the time, I believe it, I know it to be true: you are valuable, you are enough you matter. That doesn’t stop me from getting down when I don’t get as many Instagram likes or followers as I used to. That doesn’t stop me from feeling less than, when I get turned down for an awesome opportunity. You can know something to be true and it doesn’t make it easier to experience rejection or comparison.
I appreciate you so much. Seriously. I love hearing from you, hearing your stories. That makes all of this so special and awesome and unlike any other “job.” <3
- I’d love to hear your thoughts (or confessions)