*Advisory: Today I’m talking with my guest Alli who bravely shares her story of sexual assault and rape and how she healed from that trauma. If this is a topic you’re not comfortable with that’s ok. Feel free to skip this episode.
Alli Owen is an engineer, writer, and life coach. She vulnerably owns her story of trauma and shares her journey to healing on her blog where she posts inspirational stories, life advice, and guided meditations.
I also want to sincerely thank Alli again for her honesty and bravery. It’s not easy sharing these kinds of stories. This conversation really moved me. I created this platform to open up a dialogue about what wellness means. I can instagram my matcha latte with the best of ‘em but I know there’s so much more to true wellness, to feeling at home in your body than the surface level we often see. When something traumatic happens, using different modalities in wellness ranging from yoga to therapy to self care can be such powerful tools for healing. I also knew if this conversation could help even one woman feel less alone and feel less shame, then it was the right choice.
I’m not an expert in this topic. There were times in the conversation when I just didn’t know the what to say. It was a good reminder that sometimes you won’t always have the perfect response, or know the right thing to say. That’s ok. It’s more important to hold space and listen.
I want to be honest. I’m nervous about sharing this episode because I don’t want to accidentally have said something that may hurt someone. Of course that is never my intention but with such a complicated sensitive topic, people can still get hurt. Just know my intention is always to share messages of love, compassion, bravery, healing and joy. If anything I said did not resonate with you please know that’s ok. At the end of the day I knew Alli’s message was too important not to share. This one isn’t about me.
I think this episode can be equally valuable for those who have experienced trauma and for those who want be there for their loved ones, family and friends if or when they experience trauma or difficult situations in their lives.
We talk about:
- Alli shares her story of trauma and sexual assault and her process of healing
- How hookup culture can be damaging to your relationship to self
- How to own your story without labeling yourself as weak
- Why it’s helpful to see your story through an outsider’s persepctive to give yourself compassion
- Why vulnerability isn’t weakness
- Why is it so hard to admit we’re brave versus weak?
- How memory can be clouded by confusion and emotion – how shame can cloud our experiences
- How to start opening up and healing from your experience
- – start small with friends and trusted family
- It’s so important to validate people’s experiences
- Why is it so scary to share? Fear that people will deny your experience
- Knowing when it’s the right time and whether you should sharing your story on a larger platform
- Ask: “am I sharing this to help people and serve people or am I sharing this to sort it out for myself”
- You don’t have to solve everyone’s problems – it’s better as a friend just to listen
- Being ok with being different – measuring your self worth against who you are and who you want to be – it’s a daily practice – accepting it’s not something you can achieve
- Creating your own standard of worthiness
- Cutting ties with friends who trigger unworthiness
- Why achievement is a coping strategy – and why you need to feel the pain in order to heal
- How to practice mindfulness regularly (to help build awareness)
- How to deal with the “not enough-ness” feeling
- Why play is so important for overachievers
This Episode is Perfect for Anyone Who:
- Has experienced trauma
- Has friends or family who have experienced trauma and you want to be a support
- Is on a journey of healing
- Has used achieving as a coping mechanism for dealing with pain
- Has felt “not-enough” in their life, work, health, relationships
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE:
Connect with Alli:
On instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allio.co/
On her blog: http://allio.co/
https://www.rainn.org/ (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE
Hang out with the Joy Squad on Facebook for your daily dose of health, wellness and joy filled conversation. (and you’ll get sneak peeks on new things coming to the blog and podcast first)
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SHARE YOUR STRUGGLE & WIN
get featured on the show by sharing your struggle & win for the week – email them to me georgie [at] init4thelongrun.com with the subject line “struggle and win”