Does that sound like an oxymoron? Outgoing Introvert. Not only do they exist, but you might be one yourself. Here’s how I made a pretty mind blowing revelation that has changed how I see myself and how I define my happiness.
A few weeks ago a stumbled across this article: 18 Struggles of Having an Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy and Introverted. Bullet after bullet described my life to a T. Never before had I seen it written out like that… but let me step back and explain:
My whole life I’ve assumed I was a strange contradiction. I never thought of myself as “shy” because I like to talk. I don’t really get stage fright, I like expressing myself and I was always the first person to raise their hand in class (picture Hermione Granger-esque) so I always assumed that meant I must be an extrovert. However I’m easily overwhelmed in large groups. College orientation was my idea of an anxiety attack.
So after reading the article, and subsequently this article 23 Signs You’re Secretly an Introvert it makes so much sense! I’ve been told I’m an “old soul” many times before (and I happen to agree). I’ve never been able to keep up with wild parties and huge crowds. I’m much more content spending time with close friends over coffee. (or alone in a craft store)
Finally I understand why I hate talking on the phone, even to my closest friends and family, why I’m often paralyzed when I have to small talk or “network” or why huge ragers never did anything for me. It’s so obvious to me now, but for so long I thought I there was something wrong with me because being around too many people for long periods of time drained my energy. And I always thought I was weird because I enjoy spending time alone.
This isn’t to say I don’t like being around people, but wandering the streets of New York City with a coffee in my hand observing, the world around me from the outside is both delightfully peaceful and restorative.
But I’ve got to say this was the one bullet I related to most “You ebb and flow between wanting to be noticed for your hard work, reveling in the attention and achievement you receive, to sinking and panicking over the thought of somebody else paying more than 30 seconds of attention to you.” I try so hard to be appreciated but if I get the attention it’s borderline painful hearing praise. Weird.
Anyway this post was a bit self indulgent but I just couldn’t believe someone had been able to put into words what I hadn’t been able to figure out my entire life – and really
I’m curious to hear what you think:
What are you:
Introvert? Extrovert? Both? Neither?
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I’m a pretty frequent reader of your blog and I’ve always felt like I could relate to you quite a bit! And I read a lot of fitness/foodie/travel blogs…. I think that if we met in person, we would get a long real well. I think that you’re a lot braver than I am, especially when it comes to putting ourselves out there with things like public speaking or interviews (I normally have to take a long nap because of the headaches I get after group discussion/debates/presentations)! It seems like you have a really healthy balance between enjoying some “you time” and sharing yourself with the rest of the world. Your ability to reflect and step outside of yourself is very rare to find in a lot of people these days. I have lots of friends who have no idea why they do the things that they do or why things may be the way that they are. And that has always surprised me! I can’t imagine never taking time out to roll things over in my head or analyze/ observe. Thanks for the cool post, Georgie.
Wow Kaley! That was one of the kindest comments I’ve ever received. Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I try to balance the whole me time and getting out of my comfort zone but it’s one of the bigger challenges I face, especially when I’m moving around to new places. If you’re ever in the NJ/NYC area I’m always up for a coffee or a stroll 🙂
Have you heard of the Highly Sensitive Person? I’m reading the book by Elaine Aron, PHD. I always thought I was an introvert until I discovered her research. It’s fascinating! If you’re still “just an introvert” I can totally relate to you as I’m certainly not shy but was always told I was.
Ooo I’ll have to check that out! I love reading about personalities and the whole Jung personality theory. Thanks for stopping by.
I loved this post so much! I’m totally like this and it’s so hard for people to understand.
I’m like you with expression my opinions, I’m not scared to talk to people and things like that, but I gain all my energy alone. I don’t like wild parties, clubbing or all the introduction days at school either, it’s too much and I need alone time.
When I used to live in London, I loved walking around the city alone and just observe people, I didn’t mind doing things alone because it was just the time I needed for myself.
I just found your blog the other day, but I already relate to you so much! 🙂
Hi Tanja! So happy you found my blog. I love spending days in cities just walking and observing. I spent a semester in London and those days were some of my favorites. Sometimes I need to go to a big party once in a while just to remind myself why I don’t normally feel bad not going (if that made any sense)
I keep finding your old posts, and this one is just perfect. This is totally me as well, 100%. Sometimes I feel as though my office friends think I am the strangest person ever… but I’ll just go on with being my weird, outgoing introverted self 🙂
It’s so fun finding my fellow outgoing introverts! People can’t believe that you’re an introvert but you just have to explain that you like people a lot…just you don’t want to spend all your time with them 😀
This is ME 100%. I love how God makes everyone so different. Nobody always quite fits into the 100% introvert box or 100% extrovert box. 🙂
Omg! This all describes me perfectly! I think a lot of People who are bloggers have this persoality!