I’m linking up with Amanda’s Thinking Out Loud series
I tried to share a recipe for my new favorite cocktail, but when I started writing I realized I had something bigger to talk about, so the cocktail shall wait.
You know when you have a gut feeling about something that you try really hard to ignore? Somewhere inside you knows an answer to a question, but instead of listening to your gut, you skirt around that answer?
I hate to admit it, but I do that all the time. I’ll give you a recent example:
Fact – I’m an introvert
which means I get my energy from being alone. (Not to be confused with being shy, I am definitely not shy). Things like small talk, big events and networking take a lot out of me. That doesn’t mean I hate them (all of the time) it just means they’re extra hard.
Exploring Boston one coffee shop at a time
The truth is, I really love being alone. It sounds weird, but I could wander around a city all day with a coffee in my hand and just walk until my feet get too sore. I also love spending time one-on-one with people and being able to dive into interesting discussions.
Occasionally, I enjoy going to a big party just to get out of my comfort zone. But for me, (and I’m sure many other introverts) that’s like keeping your phone’s brightness on 100%, running all the apps and streaming videos all at the same time – it drains my energy levels RUL FAST.
Favorite old bands with new friends
And because I identify with this label of “introvert” I often make excuses not to go out because I know I’ll be uncomfortable.
The thing is, being uncomfortable isn’t always bad. It can actually lead to pretty amazing things.
I know that. But I like to forget it. I crave routine, even though I know that breaking it actually makes me happier in the long run.
Back to the phone analogy: It’s like if you always start charging your phone when it’s at 80%. If you do that often enough, the battery will learn to adapt so when you try to use it longer it won’t hold a charge.
Basically, when I turn down too many awkward social situations (that could lead to actual friendships and interesting experiences) I’m shortening my battery life, making it harder for myself in the future.
All this to say, lately I’ve finally started listening to my gut instinct, which is that growth is uncomfortable and that’s ok. I’ve been letting life get a little messy. I haven’t spent as much time in the kitchen, my room is a mess, my laundry basket overfloweth, and food prep has taken a back seat because I’ve been traveling, exploring, laughing, bonding and yes, letting myself get a little more uncomfortable from time to time. Because it’s hard and my gut knows that when it scares you a little it just might be the right thing to do.
[Tweet “Learning Messy Lessons the Hard Way”]
Your Turn:
- Introvert or Extrovert?… or both?
I 100% identify with you girl! I am happy alone but that doesn’t mean I am shy or don’t absolutely love my friends! But sometimes too much interaction can be very draining!
Exactly! So glad you get it 😀
Totally get this! Introvert all the way, but I do still love to talk and do exciting things, just a lot less then being with myself.
Haha exactly – I try to make at least a couple plans a week knowing I won’t be disapointed if they don’t always work out 😉
You know I can relate. I’m an introvert (maybe leaning toward an ambivert?) and much prefer doing things in small groups than with a lot of people. But I still need my “me” time to recharge. Finding the happy medium is tough and will never be a perfect balance.
I remember my senior year of college being amazing because I could go to a party and actually KNOW a lot of people. It was the best of both worlds. Now I’m just trying to push myself out and about more.
Oh Georgie 🙂 I love reading these posts! can 100% relate. It’s funny that even though you KNOW it’s good to get out of your comfort zone, it’s hard to still force yourself to do it! Thanks again for your lovely insight 🙂
Right! Just because I know what I should be doing, because I know it makes me happy, doesn’t mean I’m GOOD at it.
I am an introvert all the way and agree 100% with all of this. I think going away to college has been a really good experience for me to break with routine and be okay with feeling uncomfortable. I know that if I would have stayed home and went to school it would have been a completely different experience and I would continue to just crave the comforts of being at home. Being away at school forces me to experience new situations and break out of my shell more. At the same time I do get to have my ‘me time’ and recharge, which I feel like I have found a really good balance of over the years.
College is such an awesome place to get uncomfortable! There’s so many different opportunities and types of people to learn and grow from.
Wow. I absolutely relate to this. I’m an introvert and I know I’ll enjoy just hanging out with myself, while going out might just drain me, so I often turn down offers to do things in favor of “me time”. I know it’s a bad habit, but it’s comfortable. I’m working on learning how to balance the discomfort that will help me grow with the comfort that helps me take care of myself. Excellent points!
YES. I struggle with this too sometimes. I’m an introvert and small talk is REALLY hard for me (but sometimes I don’t seem like an introvert when I’m comfortable in the situation). But pushing myself out of my comfort zone has made it a little bit easier each time. I used to like having control over everything, and I still do, but I’m realizing it’s okay if the veggies aren’t chopped on the weekend, my laundry basket is overflowing, I have clothes to hang up, and I have a growing to-do list. It means we’re living our lives.
Wow I can SO relate to this! I’ve actually been reflecting on this in myself a lot lately, noticing how I really am an introvert. While I love to have a great time with friends, I am not always the best at making new ones (like you said, not shy, just avoids awkward situations or small talk) even though I really want to! Change is so uncomfortable but I do want to branch out more. Thanks for inspiring & letting me know I am not the only one! 😀
I definitely relate to this. It’s a balance between knowing when I need to put myself out there and be around people, and when I can give in to my internal homebody and curl up with a book and some ice cream. I think we all need both in our lives, but it’s too easy to give in to peer pressure on one side or our comfort zones on the other.
Introvert all the way, for.sure. I definitely feel my best when I’m alone, but I need a fair amount of time with people as well or I start having conversations with myself, and that never leads to anywhere good 😆 I’m a fan of routine as well, but I know what you mean about having a blast whenever you break out of it. I actually think that’s one of the reasons I love to travel so much… It kind of forces me to step way out of my comfort zone.
That photo of NYC is so beautiful! <3
Thanks so much Hillary!
Introvert for sure! Literally everthing you said in this is dead on! I have always been drained by parties and small talk, and I tend to strive on vulnerability and one on one conversations … Buuuttt I am also learning to be a little more spontaneous, and ditch the routine ever once in awhile;)
Heck yes. Making time for “fun” as weird as this sounds isn’t always the easiest thing to do because you have to let go of control, but once you do it can be draining in the best way!
I’m a little bit of both, but definitely more of an introvert…I like my alone time. I thrive during the quiet time…BUT recently I have been craving being a extrovert. I am wanting to get out there…Meet new people…Try new things…I am ready and thriving for that change. We’ll see how long that lasts…LOL!
I can totally relate. I feel like my extroversion certainly goes through “seasons” sometimes I need social time more than others. It’s so interesting to hear other’s perspectives on their intro/extroversion
Awesome post. I definitely resonate with you… I have a fine line of being too alone and being too out there. I was go-go-go for weeks on end so this week I just took every night except one to be by myself. GROWTH IS AWESOME and hard and messy but you’re out there challenging yourself and 99% of people can’t say the same thing. xoxo
I feel ya! I’m in the middle of a semi-accidental go-go-go period and I’m just trying to lean in while I can. One of my favorite quotes is “a comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” – I always have to remind myself that when I want to run away from something