As I sat down to write this post I struggled with what I wanted to say. Typically on Wednesdays I share what a day’s worth of meals looks like. For a couple reasons: 1.) I love seeing others’ WIAW to get easy meal inspiration 2.) I love the conversations we have on important food topics and 3.) These posts get a lot of engagement which indicates you like them too (which really should be reason number 1)
Breakfast: berry smoothie bowl
Snack: honeycrisp apple
But when I tried to think about food issues to talk about I just got stumped. But that made stop and reflect. Right now food plays such a normal role in my life. I don’t restrict what I’m eating but most of it is plant based. I eat when I’m hungry. I stop when I’m full. No I’m not trying to say I’m perfect, because first of all there’s no such thing, but secondly I have normal and abnormal meals just like everyone else. Instead, I’m amazed that, for what feels like the first time in years and years, food isn’t causing a ruckus in my life and my mental health.
It’s hard to talk about with most people, because it’s such a personal and vulnerable topic, but luckily this blog is a wonderful supportive environment. But for so many years food dominated my thoughts, which manifested in eating disorders, then pseudo recovery then relapse, all of which effected my health and my relationships.
lunch: pumpkin ravioli
Snack: raspberry quest bar
Dinner: arugula, brussels sprouts, delicata, pecans & edamame
But for me to sit down at my computer today and not have much to say about food, other than I’m eating it and it’s making me feel good, is a moment I never thought I’d enjoy. So for anyone out there struggling, first of all you’re SO not alone. Like, I’m going to repeat that you are not alone. Yes it feels so lonely, but I promise there are so many women (and men) who know your pain. And secondly, recovery, as mysterious and daunting as it seems, can be real.
It’s taken me over 6 years of highs and lows to be able to run out of issues to talk about with food, to be able to eat without guilt or fear of judgement, to look in the mirror and say “yup, that’s me,” to be able to stand on a scale and see a number without letting it affect my self worth. Sure I still care way too much about what other people think of me, I still have “those days” where disordered thoughts creep back in, but by in large most days are like today. I don’t really know what to say about food other than it’s been good and it’s made me feel good.
Your Turn:
- I don’t really have a specific question today, but I want to hear from you! How’s your life? I feel like Wednesdays are the ultimate day to just check-in. So even if it’s a quick “hello” I’d love to hear from you.
I feel like just about every American has struggled with food in some sense, whether that be an eating disorder, eating too much, too little, whether they should go vegetarian or vegan at some point I kind of feel like life would be so much better if people ate what they liked and didn’t label it at all, except those pesky food allergies of course haha, but loved that smoothie bowl you made it looks gorgeous, delicious and so colorful!
So so true. I learned that labels add so much extra stress to my life even if I’m pretty close to that way of eating, just doin’ me is the best for my health
I feel like I could have written this. Yes to all the above! Like you said, there is no ‘perfection’ when it comes to what/how we eat (despite how easy it is to think so) and being in a place of acceptance is a beautiful thing. Enjoy it! Oh and I’m not even a pasta fan but that pumpkin ravioli… damn. #DOWANT
Yes, acceptance has been such an amazing feeling. It’s not always at 100% but even looking back and comparing is just so exciting to realize that I can get on with my life!
Amen. Life is pretty wonderful when food enhances not controls your every day. Happy for ya! And thanks to your awesome suggestion of making smoothie bowls in my food processor, I’m officially on that train.
<3 Thanks Em - it feels real good. So glad you're using the food processor! Smoothies foevaa
Life is good: Today I woke up. I made the decision to be happy. And I’m drinking a latte which never happens on Wednesday and usually happens on Friday. So today basically feels like Friday!
I love this post and I’m happy to have found your blog. Thanks for being real.
That is an excellent way to have an early Friday. Thanks so much Pragati for the kind words <3
I know exactly what you mean – that realization of having peace when it comes to food is a beautiful thing! I love reading your WIAW posts. And life is great on this end – although I’m amazed that October is half over already. How did that happen?
Thanks so much Les! It’s a feeling I honestly didn’t think I’d feel again and I’m so grateful to feel a new healthy normal.
The fact that you don’t have any major issues to speak of today and can just eat food, when you’re hungry, mostly plants, is pretty much the best sign of a successful recovery you can see, so that is amazing 🙂 I’ve actually had to start thinking about food too much for my liking in a way because I’m having stomach issues again after 2 years + being okay, and some things you need to do like food journal and eliminate/bring back certain foods remind me a lot of the “bad old days” in my own experience, but it’s important for me to keep feeling good and I want that!
Compared to the long long long periods of pseudo recovery slipping back into old ways this “new normal” is something I didn’t think I’d see but it’s so freeing. Hope your stomach is ok! Having discomfort like that can add so much stress.
Georgie your blog serves as a HUGE support environment for my food battle. Right now you could say I’m in a slight relapse from recovery, but I’m trying to accept where it is going. Thank you for always pointing out that life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to and thank you for keeping things real! After all, we crave realness. 🙂
Hi Marina – thanks so much, I’m so glad we’ve connected through the blog-o-sphere. While I’m certainly no expert if you ever need to chat with someone who totally gets what you’re dealing with I’m always here <3
LOVE that you have reached that relationship with food!It took me 5-6 years to get to that point as well where I just eat what I want, when I want, and don’t think too much about it. Which makes it tough to blog about food, but I’m okay with that if it means I finally have a healthy relationship with it!
Exactly! Being a little bored of food sometimes feels pretty dang miraculous.
I’m not kidding you, I was thinking about this yesterday. I was thinking back to the whole reason I started TBB and the battles I had prior to reaching this balance. It was haunting me everyday. Now, I don’t even think twice before having a big bowl of pasta or a cup of ice cream after dinner. It’s amazing to see how far we have come! Loved this post, Georgie.
That makes me so happy. Honestly this blog has been such a huge tool for me to recover. I’m so blessed (like un-ironicly blessed) to have such amazing blogging friends that support each other along the way. <3
What a refreshing feeling–I know many people will be able to relate to your words. Lovely, lovely, just like that smoothie bowl. Drooooooooool.
Thanks so much Erin! Speaking of drool can we talk about your brownies today?!
I totally understand that struggle. Eating “too much fruit” one day or enjoying a spoonful (or two) of almond butter and feeling so guilty. I find it ironic that my life revolves around food more now–cooking, blogging, working for a food blogger–but the issues surrounding my eating no longer me. Now I just eat 3 meals, a couple snacks if I’m hungry, and stop eating when I’m full. But there are always days where we indulge a little more–that’s just life! It’s imperfect! And that’s okay.
To answer your question, I’m about to drink 5 cups of coffee to get my through writing this paper and midterm week. So yeah, there’s that 🙂
So great to hear that! Yes it’s crazy to think back at the insanity I let myself believe. I just want to shake that Georgie into her senses but I guess that’s not an effective meathod to recovery haha.
This made me so happy to read!!! Happy for you friend!!! XOXO
Thank you so much Katie! So lucky to have met you and call you my friend.
I’m so happy for you! I can’t say I’m there yet, but I’ve improved so much in the past year and binging so much less that these kinds of posts give me faith that I will one day see food in a mostly normal way. So thanks for that inspiration 🙂
Progress is always the goal! I honestly didn’t believe recovery was possible until I heard and read stories of it and saw what life looked life after. I still fall down sometimes but you’re so worth it, you deserve the peace it will give you<3
That smoothie bowl looks so delicious I wish I was having that for breakfast tmrw (too bad I hardly have any groceries left). I find myself going in and out of phases, still struggling with food guilt. I try not to stress over food too much and definitely don’t as much as I used to, but I definitely still need to work on my mindset. I hope I can get to the point you are at now- some days I’m there, and others i’m not. Currently taking a little study break catching up on reading some blogs & such which is always fun 🙂
It really is a one day at a time endeavor! I still have plenty of bad days, but they’re now outnumbered for sure. I found surrounding myself with the right healthy mindsets made me realize that what I was doing wasn’t healthy nor did the people around me judge me for what I ate or how I looked. <3
Love love love everything about this post. I’ve gone through “pseudo recovery” way to many times and I’m so glad to see that you’ve been able to reach an actual normal, healthy mindset. This morning I’ve had a cup of coffee, a bagel with pb, a big bowl of raspberries, and two pumpkin chocolate cookies with zero guilt of feeling like I need to go run all of it off. Such a freeing feeling to actually be able to enjoy yummy nourishing food!
Psuedo recovery, especially when you’re technically weight restored has got to be one of the most frustrating, isolating and defeating parts of recovery. I still sometimes slip back into old mindsets but it’s now much more rare. The feeling of freedom is too awesome to let go of now I remember what it’s like. Thanks for your comment Megan and I’m always here if you ever want to chat.
Georgie,
This is my first time to your blog and I’m so happy I found it! You’re adorable! I’m excited to be following you and read more of your story and also really hone in on your “resources for bloggers” because I am still starting out.
Thank you so much Margaret! So glad you found my little piece of the web. Can’t wait to connect with you more too
I love this so much Georgie! You’re so inspiring as always and I feel the exact same way. I’ve been struggling for 4 years and can relate to you so much which I’m thankful for. Love this community of bloggers we’ve got! 🙂
It’s certainly a day by day battle. For so long I thought it was going to be an epiphany and then badaboom it’s all normal, but instead it’s been years of ups and downs and inch by inch being cool with what I’ve got. You’re awesome Addie #endofstory. Let me know if you ever wanna talk <3
Hey Georgie! I’m Stefanie from @wellnesswellrounded on Instagram 🙂 I just loved your Instagram so much I had to come check out your website. Seriously, congratulations!! 🙂 It’s beautiful. You are such an inspiration to so many people. I’m really excited to be working with you and look forward to reading more of your awesome posts! Keep it up, girl! xoxo
Girl. I can’t tell you how great that is to hear. So glad we connected over Insta! <3