Every year on my birthday I like to celebrate my “Blirthday” which is a not-so-clever hybrid my blog birthday and my own birthday. Today In it 4 the Long Run turns 3 years old and I turn 24.
This year I wanted to share the 3 lessons that 23 taught me.
I sat on a bench outside YogurtLand after work. I ate my yogurt alone in the parking lot of a New Jersey strip mall. So this was life after college. I lived alone. I knew virtually no one. And I celebrated my 22nd birthday with a sad and melty frozen yogurt.
The following year felt like a series of comically disastrous hurdles into “adulthood.” Every day felt like a new experience of learning the hard way how not to do something. How to get rid of bird mites, how to find a roommate on Craigslist, how to get car insurance, how to shovel your car out of a Boston snowpocolypse, how to find a new doctor, how to make friends in a new city, how to not feel like a total idiot as the youngest person at work, just to name a few.
I had gone from feeling on top of the world as a senior in college, to feeling like a little piece of chewed gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe.
But I trekked right through 22 with the same stubborn, passionate, goofy gusto I bring to every match, even if I got the wind knocked out of me a couple times.
In a way, I’m truly grateful for my sad solo froyo date that wrung in such a challenging year. It set 23 up to be one of the best. Not because all these amazing things “happened” to me, but because I learned the attitude that I would need to make my own amazing things happen for me.
The 3 Lessons that 23 Taught Me
1. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
We’ve all heard before. Most people are well aware that growth comes from discomfort in some way. Whether you’re training your body or mind it’s the tough stuff that makes you strong. But all these cliches aside, this year was clear evidence that the comfort zone is indeed a dangerous place and getting out of it breeds miraculous things.
Last year I stayed in, I closed off, I took the easy path. As a result I barely met anyone in Boston. I allowed my routine to run my life instead of improving it. I did the same things and got the same results (no surprise there.) As a result I was pretty miserable. I struggled a lot with depression in the first half of the year because I felt like I was going no where.
It wasn’t until last September that I had a mini wake up call. I wasn’t happy with my life or where I was going. I knew I had to change my job, where I lived and what I was doing.
Fast forward several months I quit my job in Boston and moved back to Nantucket to work at a coffee shop while I focused on building the blog and a freelance career. I didn’t expect Handlebar (the coffee shop) to be such an incredible source of positive challenge.
Each day I was forced to move outside myself and engage with others. As a result I’ve been happier than I can remember. I’ve met so many wonderful people and people I consider dear friends. All because I leaned into discomfort and change and let it work its magic.
[Tweet “Get out of your comfort zone, that’s where the magic happens”]
2. Learn How to Love Yourself
I know what you’re thinking. I went from 0 to woo-woo real quick. But guess what? Some of this woo-woo nonsense is the real flipping deal. The truth *in my experience* is that when you can fully embrace the unique, crazy, weird, awesome, spectacular, flawed human that you are, you can get on with your damn life and do some amazing things.
It wasn’t until this year that I realized how scared I had been to love who I was. It’s going against all the rules society teaches women. We’re taught to constantly be picking our flaws apart and trying to “fix” all these problems. In subtle ways we’re told that self love is selfish or arrogant.
But my friends it’s the opposite. When we get on with our damn lives and can fully love ourselves we have more space and energy to give to others. I’ve been happier in my own skin than I’ve ever and as a result I’ve been a much better friend, a much better daughter and sister and employee. Before I was scared to date because I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I wasn’t. Once I realized “oh wait, dude, I’m actually kind of awesome, cool. That’s all set.” I was able to focus my attention on the other person because I wasn’t worried so much. Turns out that’s way more fun anyway.
Rather than try to “fix” my flaws, I’m just aware of them. I know that I can find people who compliment me and balance my strengths and weaknesses. I’m less worried about being everything to everyone, and more worried about being a kick ass version of me and doing things that no one else can do like I can.
Self love can be scary. I was afraid that if I started just accepting who I was that it was like “giving up.” I don’t even really know what that means but that’s just how it felt. However, surrendering and “giving up” on trying to be things (I never was supposed to be) has been insanely liberating.
I’m not detail oriented, or overly cautious, or always practical, or great with following up, or naturally organized. I’m also not naturally thin, or interested in makeup, or going out to crazy parties, or spending time/money on clothes. I’ve found people who help me with things I need help with and I’ve let go of things I never need to be. It’s opened up the space for who I actually am.
[Tweet “Loving yourself is the opposite of being selfish”]
3. Just Be Honest
I’d hardly have called myself a compulsive liar before this year, but last fall I had a bit of a wake up call. I heard a friend share her story of how she was fired because she had lied about giving away product from the place she worked. She wasn’t fired because of the transgression, but rather because she had straight up lied about it.
Obviously, as a 23 year old with a decent set of common sense I know full-well that lying isn’t ok. However, in my efforts to please people, I came to a realization that maybe I wasn’t as truthful as I believed myself to be. And in that way I was doing one of the worst kinds of lying, lying to yourself.
After hearing her story, I’d catch myself exaggerating little numbers that I didn’t have to because I was trying to tell people what I thought they wanted to hear. Convincing myself I knew how to do things or had experience with something I just didn’t. Like most bad habits, this wasn’t conscious or deliberate deceit but non the less it wasn’t ok.
And to try and stop it I realized I had to deal with why I lied about these things. And what do you know it all came back to self love. In subtle ways, I bent the truth to try to be someone I thought I was supposed to be or live up to unrealistic expectations I had set for myself. It all came down to not believing I was good enough.
This year, I’ve been relentless in telling the truth even if it means saying “no I don’t know how to do that,” or “yeah, that didn’t go as well as I had planned,” “yes, I made a mistake,” “no, I’m not ok right now.” The more I pushed to tell the truth even when it’s hard, the more I realized that it builds more trust and respect than any amount of achievement could.
I began to understand that messing up isn’t the problem. Lying is. When you make a mistake, make it fast. Don’t hide it. Just work on fixing it and not making it again. The more you try to cover it up or act like it didn’t happen the more of a scar it will leave.
I’m still a people pleaser, I like making other people happy. I don’t think that will ever change. But now I love myself enough to be confident even when I do the wrong thing. I know that I’m human and people are ok with that. What’s far worse is trying to pretend that I’m too good to fail.
[Tweet “Honestly builds more trust than achievement ever will”]
23 has left me equal parts confident and humble. Hungry and satisfied. I’m content, I’m excited, I’m nervous, I’m happy.
I hope that 24 brings
- Plenty of travel and adventure
- Taking my 2 businesses to the next level
- Serving this community more than ever
- Continuing to push myself out of my comfort zone
- Shedding my expectation of what my life “should” be like and embrace the awesomeness that is
I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for being on this journey with me. This blog is truly something I cherish and the connections I’ve made with you are something I could never replace. Your attention, your interaction, your kindness and support mean the world.
Happy blirthday my beautiful friend <3 I am elated that you've found happiness where you are and cannot see what the future holds for you. I am so darn lucky to have you in my life, and I am not kidding when I say I don't know what the heck I would be doing without you. Have a wonderful trip and cheers to 24 <3
Happy birthday to one of the most kind and supportive individuals I’ve ever met! I love reading these posts and they always resonate with me. Enjoy your trip! xo
Happy Birthday <3 <3 <3
I love this and do a similar type of post on my birthday every year. In many ways I think 23 can be rough, the first year out of college I was a hot mess but it felt okay, the second year out of college it didn't feel so cute anymore. It sounds like you're on a good path and 24 is going to be great.
Happy birthday Georgie! I hope you have safe travels and enjoy your trip! There really is so much I love about this post and it is such a refreshing read having just graduated college and am starting to take on the “adult world” now. <3
Happy birthday!!!! This post is one of my favorite of all time, from any blogger. I’ve always been able to relate to your story, but today resonated with me even more than usual. I hope 24 is even better than 23!
Happy blirthday, Georgie!
Happy Blirthday, Georgie!
I am so happy that you started this blog, committed to this blog, and created the BGB Community. It gave me the push I needed to find my own voice and put in more time and effort to PB Is My BF.
You are wise beyond your years – I know plenty of 30 year olds who have yet to learn these lessons!
Keep doing what you’re doing 🙂
Happy Birthday & congratulations on accomplishing more by 24 than most people will do in a lifetime! The sky is the limit 🙂
YOU ARE AMAZING and you inspire me every day and I am so lucky to have been able to get to know you in person and even more so over the next couple of weeks. Grateful for your friendship, energy, and honesty…ROCK ON WOMAN! XOXO
Happy birthday! I am glad you are finding more happiness and finding yourself as you get older. I just turned 30 this year and I still feel like I worry too much what others think and I’ve been struggling with isolating myself and feeling overwhelmed with life this past year. I am about in need of a major life change too!
Giiiirrrrrrl – you’re only 24?? That’s magical. This is all stuff I didn’t learn until I entered recovery and that encompasses 26-now (32). So glad that you’re able to get these things early. They’re so important. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy Happy Birthday! 😀
Happy birthday beauty! This was a wonderful read and I’m so glad 23 brought you so much happiness and personal growth. I also resonated with the bullet point “shedding the expectations of what life should be”.. we’re all working toward a bigger goal and embracing where you’re at right now is crucial to every day happiness. CHEERS TO 24 ya baby (I thought you already were 24–shows how much I know).
Love this beautiful Georgie, because you have taught me these things through your blog. Being honest is one of the biggest things, because I don’t want to lie about who I’m not and rather just admit my mistakes, confess my sins, move on, and embrace who I was made to be.
This paragraph you wrote, ‘I’m not detail oriented, or overly cautious, or always practical, or great with following up, or naturally organized. I’m also not naturally thin, or interested in makeup, or going out to crazy parties, or spending time/money on clothes. I’ve found people who help me with things I need help with and I’ve let go of things I never need to be. It’s opened up the space for who I actually am.’
That’s actually so much of me, and so I have hope, hope that I can continue to grow and you are one of the bloggers I look up to on the journey. <3 you.
Happy birthday! Life is always a learning process and I have to say you’re doing pretty good! Many of my friends are just now realizing what they do/don’t want to do with their lives and who they are in their mid 30’s and some still have no clue.
Love it Georgie, and glad you’re having the best (extended) birthday over in Europe! So fun watching your snaps!
So many relatable parts of this – thank you for sharing and happy birthday!
Happy, happy birthday Georgie! One sentence from this post that hit me really hard was this: “I’ve found people who help me with things I need help with and I’ve let go of things I never need to be.” So much yes to this. Asking for help is okay, and admitting to yourself and the world that you’ll never be all of the visions that you and they had for you are SO important.
Happy birthday! Hope 24 is even better than 23!
It’s crazy when we look back on the year and can see the changes we’ve gone through. #1 is still one I’m working on, but I think it’s important to always be pushing ourselves to do better!
Reading this when I’m feeling pretty much spot on to how you felt at the beginning of 23 (I turned 23 three months ago) is making it resonate with me, big time. Two years out of university, still not sure if this is the right path for me, and feeling like I have to keep the pain inside because to outsiders I look as though things are fab. Hearing that I’m not alone and that I do have the power to change things (scary to admit) is liberating. Your posts always tug the heart strings, Georgie and I’m so grateful you share them. Keep on being yourself girl, and by doing so, you’re helping me to accept all my ‘flaws’ too. Happy birthday!
I’m impressed with how much you’ve accomplished in 23 years! And yep I hear on that phase after college into true living adulthood..I’m there now as a 31 year old mom…transitioning from corporate CPA into motherhood hit me hard…I felt like that piece of gum again this past year but coming out of it now and it is joyous!
Happy belated birthday, Georgie! I completely agree that when we “lean into discomfort” there’s no limit to the beautiful opportunities that can grow. Hope you had an amazing day
Happy birthday girl! I love this post and I really can relate to your lessons. Particularly #1. I’ve found myself getting into my routine and comfort zone which is hard to break. But I love what you’ve said! Your new job sounds amazing and I’m so glad you’re feeling so free and happy babe! You’re such an inspiration!
xoxo Cailee!
Absolutely ADORE this!! 100% on all parts. In today’s’ world it’s easy to get caught up on social media and comparing where we should be and not 1) being true to ourself or 2) open to new experiences. You go girl!
I love this post and you so much!! I Hope you had a wonderful birthday. You are such a wise woman and inspiration to me! <3
Happy belated birthday Georgie! You have such a way with words and basically say so many things I’ve already been feeling. This one especially “Self love can be scary. I was afraid that if I started just accepting who I was that it was like “giving up.” I don’t even really know what that means but that’s just how it felt.” << "Giving up".Yes I too often feel like that and also don't even know what the heck it means. But it does all come back to self love.
You are amazing and I know 24 will be amazing for you.