What Happened When I Took a Break From Regular Exercise
Growing up, I wasn’t what you’d call an “athletic” kid. I loved to move, play and be outside, but my talents did not lie on the court or the field… or in the pool. I still participated in sports, but I didn’t love them and always felt a little shame about my less than stellar sports performances.
It wasn’t until high school, that I began to go to the gym instead of participating in organized sports. This was also around the time that I developed an eating disorder, so having an obsessive fitness routine was a huge part of my life. As I’ve recovered, I’ve grown to love working out, not as a punishment, but a celebration of my body and what it can do. It’s tough, it’s not always fun, but it feels damn good.
Working Out Became a Part of My Identity
However, with anything good, there’s usually a dark side too. Like with restrictive and disordered eating, fitness can become and unhealthy obsession too. Since I began working out regularly at the age of 17, I’ve been pretty disciplined. I can’t remember a week that I haven’t worked out at least once, and most weeks I’d be in the gym, at a fitness class or outside running at least four to six times a week.
All of this is pretty normal for an active person, but as I recovered from my disordered eating, I never closely examined the role fitness took in my life. Looking back, for a period of time, running became an obsessive, unhealthy behavior, that took the place of my obsessive food behaviors. Rather than bring joy in my life it, brought anxiety, stress and physical discomfort from over training. Being in shape and having a fitness routine felt like a huge part of my identity, especially as someone who called herself a “healthy living blogger.” I felt like a fraud if I wasn’t always setting new fitness goals and trying to improve my body in some way.
But Nothing Felt Good Enough
Overtime, instead of focusing on my own training or goals, I often felt woefully inadequate. Whatever I was doing never felt like enough. Suddenly running wasn’t enough, I had to do crossfit too. Being fast wasn’t enough, I had to be strong. Being fast and strong wasn’t enough I had to be flexible and balanced and lean and have endurance.
So often I’d lose sight of why I would be working out. For me, the times I’ve loved fitness the most have been when I’m able to challenge my own perception of my strength, enjoy the endorphins of a run, release stress, or enjoy the sense of community from a group fitness class. I allowed comparison and my perception of what I was “supposed” to be projecting as a “healthy blogger get in the way of enjoying what I loved about fitness and working out.
But this summer something different happened.
Over the winter, I completed the first Sweat With Kayla Guide (also known as BBG). There were a lot of great things about the program. It was challenging and affordable and a good way to workout during the winter. Even though I felt better after the workouts, they added more stress and anxiety than joy (the opposite of why I wanted to work out.) I felt like I was supposed to be seeing tons of “results” when truly my goal is just to feel good.
After that, I just started running before work. They were slow, short runs but they felt good. They made me happy and gave me time to think as I started my day.
…And then I met a boy. Over the summer, I got so caught up in working and spending quality time with my boyfriend and my friends that I kind of forgot about working out. We’d go biking together, one day we even rode 40 miles, we’d go to the beach, go for walks. I still rollerbladed when I had the time. But I just didn’t really care about having a fitness routine.
This wasn’t a deliberate decision to stop having an exercise routine. But out of this change, I gained a new perspective with my relationship to fitness.
Things I Learned When I Stopped Having a Fitness Routine
I didn’t gain weight
When I focused on just moving when it felt good versus having a routine, I didn’t gain any weight. It helped me realize that you don’t need to burn X amount of calories a day at the gym to “earn” any food. That’s just not how bodies work. Most of the time they want to stay in equilibrium. Now, I’m not a doctor or an expert in this field, but this has been my experience.
I Enjoyed Exercise More
When it stopped feeling like a thing on my to-do list, I enjoyed the movement and exercise I did get. It felt like a treat, and a way to clear my head. In short, it felt like how I want my fitness to feel. When I let go of “having” to do something and looking at it like it was my choice, exercise felt liberating.
I Cared Less About Food
Now I’m not sure if this is directly because I stopped having a fitness routine. It could be because I’ve been busy or because I’ve been distracted by a special someone, but I’ve cared a lot less about food. Obviously I still enjoy it and care about what goes into my body, but eating has felt more intuitive than it has since before I first had an eating disorder. I’ve had weeks where I’ve made homemade pizza 3 times in one week because that’s what I wanted and the sky didn’t crash down.
The healthy living blogger police didn’t take away my blog. And heck I was super happy. Knowing I can have a damn slice of pizza whenever I please makes me only want one slice instead of 5. Food stopped feeling “good” or “bad.” I craved greens, eggs, nuts, and produce and I also craved chocolate and ice cream. But when I didn’t put a limit on anything I craved ice cream a whole lot less.
What Now?
I think the biggest takeaway I’ve learned from this summer is there aren’t any “right” ways to stay active and healthy if it’s working for you. If it makes you feel good and if it brings you joy, then it’s right for you. I’ve also learned that you can go through seasons of needing structure and seasons of needing freedom. And finally that your style of staying healthy and active does not make you a better or worse person, it doesn’t not define your value or your worth. Just because someone you admire goes to spin 6 times a week does not make them a better person. It means they’ve found what works for them.
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As summer winds down and the air gets beautifully crisp, I’ve been craving more running and more blading. My routine is tightening up as I start this new chapter for my blog and I can sense that I’ll probably have more structure to when and how I workout. I’ll give it a whirl and adjust accordingly. I also enjoy the community of group fitness so I’m hoping to head to a couple studios that I like once a week. I haven’t done a race in a while and I think it could be to train again. We’ll see. But for now, I’m not going to worry, because I’ve realized that fitness is a tool for happiness if I use it wisely.
I’m off to go on a run while I listen to Harry Potter on audible for the 432nd time.
Your Turn:
- Have you ever taken a break from exercise?
- What’s your favorite way to sweat right now?
Yayayay love this. I have definitely been working out way less and it’s taken me a long time to realize that it’s OKAY. I love doing things that are technically exercise but are fun, that make you forget that you’re actually exercising. This also made me chuckle because when I first started dating Christian I gained a few pounds hahah
Such an awesome post Georgie! 🙂 I took 3 weeks off of exercise this summer when I went to Boston for my dance intensive. Usually I exercise on TOP of dancing for cross-training purposes, but this time I didn’t and it felt AMAZING. Coming back to school put a new exercise mindset in my head and I feel the exact same way as you do. Move to feel good, not to punish yourself!! 🙂 I’m so much happier and it really makes a difference.
I’ve been off running since last December (pregnant and wanted to play it safe) and I miss it like crazy. I completely see though what you mean about enjoying it vs making it a to do!
Yes, yes, yes. Last year’s injury was my first “wake up call” that exercise, specifically running, should enhance my life not control it. Truthfully, exercise has been very sporadic over the last few months. I love movement but needed to give my attention elsewhere. So, like you, I’m hoping to get back into a routine soon. Not too intense, but hopefully more group exercise!
Thank you for bringing us through your journey, very real and very helpful. I used to be similar in the sense of putting a ton of pressure on myself to workout and not enjoying the exercise/ecperience. Luckily I (for the most part) figured it out and found out what I love doing, being on a bike. My next challenge is to enjoy being in the pool, it has always been too monotonous and not social enough (I can’t talk to anyone or ask questions!), but we’re going to break through this winter!
Much love Georgie, keep blogging and letting us into your world!
Love every point you made in this post! I’ve just recently learned to move in a way that feels right for me, not just because I feel like I have to. Slowly I’m feeling less guilty for taking my dog for a walk or not moving at all a day and it’s such a great feeling. Thanks for sharing your story Georgie!
I feel like I’ve been in a break of regulated exericse this whole year!! I’ve been doing sporadic exericse like mountain biking, playing football, walking (working in a cafe is exercise enough) and riding my bike, but I’ve just started to get back into the gym now! Thanks for sharing, I’ve got similar thoughts too and omg BBG is so tough!
I can totally relate to this — I used to be all about going harder, faster, stronger, but recently have felt a bit burnt out and meh about all of that. I’ve been craving yoga, low-impact workouts and long walks. And for now, that’s working for me.
I also used to get SO anxious if I had to miss a work out or if I was going on vacation for a week. I’d stress myself out about waking up early and going to the gym. I then went away for 2 weeks one summer and didn’t work out at all besides a few hikes and leisurely bike ride. I didn’t suddenly gain 20 pounds. In fact I actually lost a tiny bit of weight. The world also didn’t fall apart and I didn’t lose my “fitness blogger” title.
Thanks for sharing your story!
LOVE this Georgie! I haven’t taken a break from exercise in gosh knows how long…I know that I need to just do it, to give my body a break and to just rest. One of these days I will just do it! Thank you for always being YOU, honest, authentic, and inspiring others! I cannot wait to catch up with you soon…We need to schedule a shoot as soon as I get more product. Miss you! XOXO
This year has totally been that year for me too, and it seems like it’s been that way for several of us. The one word I can put to it is: Freedom! I feel so free to just move my body the way God made it to move, and I really appreciate rest more. I don’t think about refueling or food so much, and I enjoy just hanging out with my family and not worrying about a long run in the morning. If I ever go back to doing long running, I want to truly do it because I want to do it, not because I have to.
Taking breaks from exercise while I’m on vacation always helps me reset my mind and body so I don’t get too crazy about not missing a workout. I notice when I’m away from home at any time, I focus more on moving and eating intuitively.
I’m so feeling this post, dawg, just in the opposite direction. After taking a winter hiatus from exercise (I had been basically addicted to a very regular work out routine for 2 years – it started out cathartic, cardiotherapy if you will, getting me through some really hard stuff going on in my life – but it spiraled. What was once calming and therapeutic became so super stressful and actually made me on edge) At the beginning of summer, I started missing those flipping fantastic endorphins, and just the structure of working out (it’s funny, exercise tends to make me less hungry/obsessed with when and what I’m going to eat next BUT BYGONES) so I got back out there. It wasn’t easy, but each time was a little less difficult. Now, I finally feel, again, what made jogging so wonderful and fulfilling – AND added bonus, I now have the insight that too much of a good thing is not necessarily such a good thing. Thanks for just GETTING ME without even knowing it! I was literally about to post an instagram about this very subject!
YES YES YES. I definitely still work out a LOT but I think it holds less of the weight that it used to for me. I just go for walks with my family most weekends and it’s not a chore, it’s something I look forward to. And there’s definitely a direct correlation between less exercise and not caring about food as much. At least for me 🙂
I hurt my back in June and couldn’t work out for a month. It sucked bc I’m also a personal trainer and instructor so I kind of need my body to do my job. I wrote a post like this after I was finally cleared to work out again and a lot of my fears just didn’t come true. There’s a lot of ups and downs, but bodies are magical things and can bounce back if you treat them well!
I’m a runner BUT my knee has decided to go on a break all summer. Thankfully I have been biking everyday and staying active that way. I’m pretty obsessive about my daily exercise but there was a time when I’d run twice a day or do multiple workouts, so I understand the obsession
Great post, I think we can all relate to struggles with finding a balance between enjoying working out and sticking with a routine. I totally agree that it’s much more fun to get our there and move when you feel like it rather than a trying to keep up with a super disciplined (often unrealistic) regime!
Yes yes and yes to all of this. Thinking back to the time in my life where I was running in the mornings, biking to class, biking to my kickboxing class AND limiting what I ate to how much I thought I was “supposed” to eat.. makes me EXHAUSTED just to remember it! I’ve still gone through seasons of feeling exercise as a burden or item on my daily checklist but I’ve also experienced the freedom of only moving when the idea struck me and it sounded good. I appreciate the way you were able to articulate the goodness that came from having no exercise schedule and it makes me excited looking forward to the weeks and months to come where I plan to exercise when, where and how my body craves.
i cant relate to this post so much..from regularly working out to a point of obsessively exercising to working out 2-3 times depending upon my schedule, i have enjoyed the flexible workout routine im on right now. like you mentioned, i havent gained weight and i feel good!!!!
Oh yes! I am still “on the break” from exercise that I took when I started recovering from disordered eating over a year ago. I’m starting not to call it a break anymore though and just who I am. I do structured workouts from time to time, but I’ve found that I far prefer taking a long walk, going for a spontaneous bike ride, or playing frisbee with friends than having a workout schedule. And that is okay! 🙂
Love this! I definitely have started to get a better look at exercise as I train for a marathon – understanding rest days and how/why I exercise in the first plaCe. I struggle with programs like BbG because I feel restricted to something and if I don’t get those results because I enjoy living a little and that cookie – I don’t want to feel like a failure.
I do think about how much a part of my life fitness has become. Honestly I get scared sometimes thinking what if I get injured and can’t workout. So much of my friend-base and social life is focused around working out and running together (as much we do things outside of working out too). I am surrounded by a lot of incredibly fit and motivated people who are constantly tackling crazy running goals like running sub 3-hour marathons or 100 mile races. It is easy to feel inadequate and like you constantly have to do more, more, more.
It is interesting to read about your experience taking a break! I think just making movement a normal part of your life (instead of following a strict routine) is the best approach in many ways.