Today I’m sharing a little bit about my trip to London so far: the good, the bad, the messy & the beautiful path to following your gut and traveling alone.
Oh man (think that’s my favorite way to start a post, when I know it’s going to be a doozy).
If you’ve read my 2016 recap post, or seen my Instagram recently, you probably already know I’m in London right now.
I debated for a while if I wanted to talk about this trip on the blog at all. I debated whether it would bring you enough value. I debated whether anyone would care. But I realized sharing my story is my strength.
I, and so many others, learn through story. Yes, reading a listicle can be helpful, especially if you’re just trying to digest some quick information. However, it’s not the only way to learn and understand. I know that value doesn’t just come in the form of “How to do BLANK in 3 Easy Steps.”
Hearing someone else’s experience can unlock truths for you, as it often does for me. I’m hoping this experience might resonate with you. I hope it helps you think about what planning, adapting and embracing opportunities means in your own life.
So how did I get here?
For those tuning in at home, you might be asking yourself “wait, why is she in London?” And maybe this is your first time reading the blog and you’re probably even more confused, “wait who is this chick and I guess why is she in London?”
Allow me to explain
When I was living in Boston two years ago, I started feeling really depressed. Things were fine on paper, but I felt suffocated and isolated in my own life. I could tell that something had to change. I had this crazy realization that, in fact, I could literally do anything with my life. Which led to the question: so what do you want to do with your life?
Honestly, the only answer I got was… London. *for a little context, I was born in the UK (so I’m a dual citizen), grew up in the states and studied abroad in London for 4 months in 2013*
My first thought was, ok, well that’s going to be expensive. I knew if I tried to save enough money while I was still at my job at the time, it would take forever. And then the dreaming and scheming began. I decided I could move home to save money and work somewhere on Nantucket. I would save enough money for 3 months of expenses and try to find a job during that time. Worst case scenario I could always come home.
Then 2016 Unfolded
I went home with a heart full of excitement, but a pride that was a little bruised. At first I was wrapped up in the stigma of moving home at 24, but I quickly learned that literally nobody cares. And if they did it, I really didn’t care either.
I worked and I blogged, but something surprising happened. Each day I became happier and happier. Rather than feeling like I was reverting back to my high school self when I moved home (something I feared), I had found an atmosphere of growth.
And then, like I mentioned in my 2016 Expectations Post … I fell in love.
It’s been wonderful in so many ways. It also sparked a lot more personal growth than I ever could have imagined. My preconceived notion about love was that it caused partners (and especially women) to lose their identities. I’ve always been so determined to be my own person, that I didn’t realize how much a relationship could teach me and allow me to grow on my own, too.
I was blissfully happy. My hometown felt fresh and exciting… but wait…
… what about my plan?
What about London? The magical city I fell in love with four years ago. The whole reason I quit my job. If I still went, I’d be leaving behind this man I loved so much. If I didn’t go, I was afraid I’d live with that regret forever.
So I bought a return ticket
No, it wasn’t this bold act I had imagined, the “one-way ticket.”
I had to come to terms with the fact that there are no right answers, just paths. I had made this perfect plan that needed editing. So really it wasn’t perfect. There was no way it could have been, because reality turned out to be so much better, and worth editing the plan for.
I turned to my favorite quote that I reread whenever I’m about to, or have just made, an important decision
“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.
The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.” – Deepak Chopra
January 11th approached rapidly. That night I stood in the security line at Logan airport with puffy, tear-streaked cheeks watching my boyfriend slowly walk away, turning back every couple steps to wave.
I asked myself “if I’m so happy, then why am I leaving?” (a little late to ask this question… I know)
and wait, what am I doing here?
Have you ever worked so hard for a goal that you kind of forgot about what you were going to do when you got there? It’s like finishing a race, you stop and wonder… wait, now what?
Moving to London was a bit like that. I was so intensely focused on making enough money, trusting that this destination would bring me some kind of enlightenment once I got there. But I realized that as I changed my plans I didn’t really tune into why I wanted to change my plans.
As I settled into my flat, I came to terms with the fact that…
I don’t have a goal for this trip
I was so obsessed with getting to London that I forgot why I wanted to even go. Does that make any sense? If you’re confused, join the club.
So I don’t have any “goal” for this trip. Being a former goal junkie this is completely out of character. I’ve always been a striver, a hustler, a hunter. But I’ve felt this shift, from wanting to achieve something into wanting to enjoy each day as it comes.
I’m taking it one day at a time
So for once (in my life?) I’m trying to take it day by day. There’s no agenda. No milestones to check off. No S.M.A.R.T. goals to achieve. What does successes look like for this trip? I can’t wait to find out. Honestly. I know that sounds crazy, especially if you are or have been a goal junkie. But I have this weird gut feeling that I’m going to learn about myself and why I’m here as each day passes. I realized I didn’t want to set arbitrary goals for this trip or force an agenda just because I felt like I should have one.
Things I am Afraid to Tell You About This Trip
Inspired by a post Davida from the Healthy Maven & a podcast by Jess Lively I wanted to share some things I’ve been afraid to tell you about this trip.
Traveling alone is lonely
The thing I probably have the most anxiety, fear, shame around is meeting new people. I want to build friendships while I’m here, but it’s not easy when you’re starting from scratch. I love spending time alone, but not all the time. I’m not drawn to bars or clubs or trying to force myself on people. I also don’t want to treat making friends like it’s a goal to be achieved. I want to meet people because I want to, not because I feel like I’m supposed to. So I’m trying this thing where I’m just being super friendly and seeing where it goes. (I’ll let you know)
Being in a long distance relationship is way harder than I wanted it to be
Yes. I knew that being in a long distance relationship was going to be difficult, but I couldn’t have predicted how it was going to feel until we were actually apart. I tried getting advice from a lot of people, but in the end I realized, I didn’t want to force any arbitrary tactics on how we communicated or how I felt about it. A part of me is also managing the guilt from feeling like I left someone behind. And the complicated feelings of realizing maybe I don’t need to be as independent as I thought I was supposed to be. Another piece of me is incredibly grateful to have someone I miss so much.
I already changed my plans
My pride told me I should stick to my original plan, which was supposed to be 4 months. But I’m coming home a month early. (I thought) I didn’t want to be the kind of person who has to change her plans. But my gut said that it was ok. Traveling doesn’t have to fit into a cute shiny package. It can be messy and complicated and frustrating and challenging and still be immensely rewarding. I knew deep down I didn’t have to be away for that long, which ultimately was a beautiful gratifying feeling.
But on a really bright note
I seriously don’t want you to think that I’m miserable over here. Yes it’s been challenging in unexpected ways, but with those challenges come lessons, that I needed to learn my way. I truly love London. It’s so beautiful and there are magic moments and spaces around every corner. I’m in this tiny, bright studio apartment that’s incredibly central. I can walk pretty much anywhere I need to go. I really hope if you get the chance, you’ll visit. Oh and there are amazing coffee shops all around me.
I feel really awake
Maybe this is what people refer to as being mindful or present, but for me it feels like being awake. Ironically I’ve been sleeping in super late (hey the sun doesn’t rise until 8 over here), but that’s not the point. This might be part of the nature of travel, but being out of your familiar surroundings means your brain is taking in so much new information. I also feel more in-tune with what my body and mind needs each day. Sometimes it’s being in my flat working and sometimes it’s just picking a neighborhood and walking around all day.
I’ve only been gone for 3 weeks, but I can already tell that this trip will teach me so much and bring me joy in unexpected ways.
What does this mean for the blog
Nothing’s really going to change. My goal is to always provide you with content that helps you put more joy and happiness into your healthy lifestyle. I just wanted to share a bit of my travel journey as it’s been teaching me a lot of interesting lessons that might spark something in you. As always, I love your feedback because it helps me focus and create the content that you need in your life.
I also just love hearing from you in general. So even if you’re not into commenting (totally ok) drop me an email or DM on Instagram or however you like to say hi. I really really really appreciate you being here and sharing your time and attention and life with me.
With love from London,
Georgie
ps. I made an instagram account for my travel photos if you’d like to see more @alittlelostinlondon
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I’m so in love with this!!! Wishing you all the luck in the world as your journey unfolds ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much Hannah!
Georgie, you are fearless. Thanks for continuing to share your journey so honestly. You just keep going with your gut. This former 20-something (times 2) is cheering for you from Boston!
Thank you so much Julia <3 So lucky to have such an amazing supportive community here
I love your quote! It can be terrifying making a big decision for fear of it being “wrong,” but reading that quote alleviates the “scariness” and fear about the outcomes and helps convince you to jump into it!
Good for you for traveling abroad solo. I’m sure it gets lonely on a daily basis, but once you get home to your boyfriend/ friends/ family, you’ll look back on all of the happy and positive memories you made in London. You’ll likely be happy you took action on a goal in your life and were bold enough to follow through with it. No regrets!
Thank you so much Kate! That quote has helped me so much in life. <3
Georgie, this might be your best post to date. You never cease to amaze me with your honesty, wisdom, and lust for life. I’m happy you’re going with your gut and are deciding to come home a little earlier! It might not seem like it, but I know you’re exactly where you need to be at this moment. <3 Like you said, the universe works around your decisions. SO much love to you always!!!
Ahh thank you so much Marina – so grateful for you …. also I’m coming to Philly the weekend of the GOODfest!! We have to meet <3
Georgie, thank you so much for your vulnerability! I think it’s so important to share both the good and the bad because people will learn from it and there is a lot of value in that!
I had to move home halfway through college due to health issues and I also worried about reverting back to a high school-like self, but I similarly found that that did not happen! Instead I grew and learned a lot 🙂
That’s so good to hear. I think the mindset has so much to do with it (and an amazing support system).
Way to go, Georgie! I know how hard it can be to be totally open about your feelings sometimes. I’m sure there are so many people who can relate to you here! My husband and I did long distance for the first three years (!!!) of our relationship. The distance varied and we never had an ocean separating us, but I firmly believe that this time apart is what made our relationship as strong as it is. We made a promise before I went back to school and then again when I moved out of state that no matter what, we would say goodnight to each other, and not over text message. Some of these calls were 30 seconds long and others were three hours. But regardless, knowing that I was ending every day the same was so comforting. And in those years apart we learned to communicate and as a result, we learned so much about each other — from our childhoods, to our fears, to our dreams and desires, from the boring day-to-day things, to our deepest feelings. Oh man, and let me tell you, when we were finally in the same place and moved in together after those three years, it was even more amazing than I dreamed it would be. Long distance is tough, but if you let it, it can absolutely make your relationship stronger. <3
I can't wait to hear more about your London travels and am so enjoying reading your posts!
Thank you so much for sharing Harley! At the end of the day I’m so immensely grateful to miss someone so much.I never thought I’d have that in my life so I see it as a blessing even as hard as it can be day to day. I love hearing your perspective and knowing that your relationship was stronger for it <3
so I know you don’t know me (well) we follow eachother on insta, but this post is amazing. thank you for writing it!! I picked up my life in September of 2017 and moved to Germany (having never even been, with no visa) it’s been crazy and hard and awesome. But I agree with this so much: “Traveling doesn’t have to fit into a cute shiny package. It can be messy and complicated and frustrating and challenging and still be immensely rewarding.” Because sometimes you just have to DO something and see. so cool that you are in london. I am coming there very soon (February) so if you need a girl to meet up with, I’d love to!
Ahh Helene I love your blog and I’ve loved following your German adventures. It’s nice to step back and see how all the hard stuff led way to the awesome stuff. I’d love to see you when you’re in London!
I definitely found value in this post and think changing your plan was really admirable 🙂 here’s another quote on decision-making I love, although I don’t know who said it: “I cannot say if things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.”
Aww I really love that quote – thank you for sharing
I bet you could find free meet ups or other group things if you are looking for company or new friends to adventure with 🙂 I saw a lot of things, especially at hostels, if you want to meet new people. I’ve also traveled alone and it’s definitely different but also so peaceful!
That’s a great idea Andrea <3
Nothing wrong with changing your plans! Enjoy the travel and each lesson it brings! What an incredible opportunity and experience!
Thank you so much Kristin <3
First, you are so brave to travel alone and I really admire you for taking this trip for YOU! Enjoy, relax and have fun- the time is going to fly by!
Thank you so much Diana!
My heart is swelling with joy reading each part of this post; I want to come back and read it even more in depth, because it sounds so much like many of our lives as we graduate and struggle to know what to do afterwards. I love your flexibility and your zest for taking care of your body, mind, and spirit. This year I’m sleeping more too, and it’s wonderful. It’s amazing how less can really be more, because we can put full passion and energy into what we are doing instead of being spread too thinly.
Seriously, I smile every time I see something you post about London; it’s just wonderful to see you grow Georgie. Much much <3
Oh emily, your comments make my heart smile. Thank you for always being so loving and supportive. Heck yes to less (at least right now) <3
i honestly am so jealous of you right now, and think you’re so brave and adventurous for being in London! What a change! Good for you Georgie, i’m pumped you stuck with your plan and i’m sure you are glad too. Long distance is super hard (i did it for a year!) but you get sooo much accomplished personal growth wise, that you’ll look back and know that it was worth it.
Thank you so much Beverley! I’m very happy I’m here even if there are tough days. It’s so encouraging knowing that so many women I admire survived long distance. My main goal is just to enjoy what is and embrace the tricky shit.
this was an amazing read and i was screenshotting so much of it along the way as i could really resonate with it. you’re awesome- thanks for sharing all of this with us!
Thank you so much Arielle <3
I love this! Thanks for sharing your journey. I would love to travel abroad by myself but I can definitely sense (and from my own experience moving a lot in the US) that it would be really challenging and overwhelming. Soak it all in and enjoy!
Thank you Jill! I definitely think there’s this pressure to travel in a certain way, but I’ve learned it’s ok to know your limits and what you need from an experience without feeling guilt of not doing it someone else’s way.
Sounds like you’re getting the perfect balance of finding yourself a little more, with the right amount of homesickness. London can be a difficult town to make friends in since everyone is in such a hurry, but a friendly face (and a popular blog!) can go a long way. Also, I did the whole long distance thing for over a year and a half, including some time that I was in the UK. It was TOUGH since I wanted to share all of the experiences with my then boyfriend, but just made the promise to take him with me the next time so we could experience them together (which will happen this coming October). It leaves the door open for future memories and you’ll be glad to have experienced it on your own, but also to have something else to share with him.
Aww thank you Emily and thank you for sharing that with me – it’s so comforting to know that so many people I respect have done the long distance thing too and that there’s no right or wrong way to do it. <3
I am so excited that you decided on sharing this with us! It was nice that I felt like I could connect on some levels. The feeling of leaving someone behind trying to achieve your personal goals and reaching after what you want in life. Lately, I’ve been feeling the same way about my goals too; we work so, so hard on where we want to be, or where we think we want to be and halfway through, we look around and think, should I really be doing this? Is this what I WANT to be doing now? I almost feel bad not following though with big plans that I’ve had but its the process of growing and learning! I am so glad you are deciding to share your journey with us, thank you pretty girl!
XO-L
http://agirlnamedlatisha.blogspot.com
Thank you so much Latisha. It’s so true – in the process of striving we forget to enjoy the actual process (and outcome.) I’m starting to reframe “wrong choices” as detours and reminders of what I do want. <3
Really love reading your genuine, true thoughts + feelings about this experience! I’m looking forward to following along more in your journey, and I’ll be sending happy thoughts to you across the pond that you’ll feel sparks of fulfillment as your journey continues!
Thank you so much Melissa for your kind words. I’m so grateful to be able to share with such a compassionate audience.
I loved how real you were in this post! I’ve always wanted to travel solo, but I’m also in a relationship with someone I love and sometimes I fear the long distance relationship would be too much. There definitely is a sense of pressure to be independent, and that for some reason, if you’re in a relationship you’re somehow not. Also! I was in London for my first time this summer and fell in love with its magic,
I’m so glad you could relate. Yeah it hasn’t been easy but we’ve both realized that it’s helping us in a lot of ways. This trip has taught me that no amount of planning or imagining can compare to what is happening right now and what you’ll feel in the moment. I hope you get the chance to return to London in the future <3
I SO relate to this and went through something similar when I was 22 — I had always dreamed of living in NYC but going to college elsewhere. I ended up going to college in NYC and joke that it just happened 4 years earlier than I expected.
By the end of college I was starting to feel worried about the fact that I might not ever live somewhere else and what if NYC wasn’t the place for me because I didn’t know any other city. I had always dreamed of living somewhere warm with palm trees and the opportunity presented itself for me to move to Los Angeles for the fall as a “test run” and attend an intensive workshop on how to become a group fitness professional. I was set to live with my best friend in his guest room. It would be a two month test run, and if I loved it I would stay. I was convinced I was going to fall in love with LA, go to UCLA for grad school and spend the rest of my life hiking canyons and being zen AF, because LA.
Well, my program was cancelled and things just went downhill from there. My boyfriend and I had already been together a year at this point (we’ve now been together 5+ years) and have always lived an hour away from each other but being *that* far away felt different. My whole family was in New York. And I really struggled to make new friends in LA when everyone I knew was in New York. It ended up being a really lonely 2 months in LA.
BUT, I’m SO grateful I did it because if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it now. It happened, it was a total fail, but I did it. It also made me appreciate NYC *SO* much more when I came home and solidified it was the right city for me right now.
Enjoy your time in London for what it is, and don’t beat yourself up if it’s not everything you imagined. It’s something you felt compelled to do *for you* even if it’s not the perfect scenario you envisioned.
Thank you so much for sharing Kayla! I agree so much with your feelings and sentiments. It’s amazing what lessons traveling teaches you even if they aren’t the ones you expected to learn. <3
So…can I move in with you in London, please?!!! (Ok, I’d miss my husband and son too much…)
It’s my favorite city on earth and I swear, when I studied abroad for 5 weeks before my senior year of college (and almost didn’t get to go because we left July 7, 2005 – which, if you’re good with dates, was the tube/bus bombing), it was the greatest experience of my life.
Get yourself a croissant and sit by the Thames and people watch. London is so full of beautiful things. London is where I discovered myself – cheesy as it sounds.
I admire you for traveling by yourself and I hope you grow and learn in ways you never imagined. I’ve loved following along in Insta so far <3 <3
Aww Catherine thank you so much. I really cherish this amazing city. It’s so diverse and unique and just has this unexplainable magic. Trying my best to start the day with gratitude for all that I have and for all that is. Thank you for the suggestion a croissant sounds amazing right now.
I absolutely love hearing about your journey. I’ve had a similar experience. I planned to study in Italy for a semester in college waaay before I met my boyfriend, so when it was time to go, I felt this massive guilt for leaving him. I didn’t change my plans though, and I learned more about myself in those 4 months than I could have ever imagined, and we’re still together today. I’m so excited for you and your time in London and I can’t wait to continue to follow along!
Ahh thank you so much for sharing that Ashley. I’ve learned through sharing that I am far from alone! Travel has a magical way of growing us in such amazing unexpected ways.
As someone who hates when plans change, I can relate to your resistance. At least your plans changing is within your control and judgment. I recently worked so hard for something that ultimately fell apart in the end. I was left trying to navigate what was “next” in a situation that was out of my control. So, even in the midst of things feeling a bit murky and uncertain for you, I hope that you see how lucky you are to have the freedom and flexibility to have that experience and make those choices. I am inspired by your resilience! New and unexpected challenges are where personal growth occurs – Also, love seeing the photos of your trip and new neighborhood:)
Thank you Maria – I do feel extraordinarily lucky and grateful for my ability to change plans on my own terms. I’m so sorry about things not working out. It can feel so deflating, confusing and disheartening when circumstances change out of your control. My heart’s with you <3
My apologies for taking so long to take this post in. What I need was a slow morning (with a candle burning) to take it in. It is amazing to see you already learning so much about yourself, and you’re only a month in. I feel like this is one of those moments/times in your life where the lessons might follow the experience and maybe won’t be seen as much during. I dream of visiting London, and hope one day (soon) I can make it happen. Keep on sharing your journey with us! <3
Georgie I so loved reading this! When I studied abroad in Australia I actually felt so alone the first month–it can be overwhelming. But I have been absolutely loving all of your pictures you’ve been sharing on IG and your tidbits of daily life over there. Giving me major travel bug!