I Traveled 3,000 Miles to Learn a Simple Lesson About Slowing Down That You Can Start Practicing Today
It’s a month to the day that I got home from London, so it’s only fitting that I shared this post today.
I wanted to share a major perspective shift this trip helped me make. Especially because while traveling helped me make this shift, I don’t think you need to travel 3,000 miles to do the same.
I learned that you can control the pace of your life, by intentionally shifting your priorities. You don’t have to be a slave to your schedule. Yes, you actually can finally quit the “I’m the busiest” contest.
Slowing Down Means Shifting Your Priorities
I know, these days it feels like everyone is telling us to slow down…. kind of like I literally just did.
“Do Less”
“More Balance”
“Be Present”
“Enjoy Life”
They’re all Pinterest-perfect mantras, but let’s be real here, how the heck can you slow down when so many people rely on you?
If you’re anything like me, you’ve had moments where you look at your week ahead, and without even realizing it, you’ve already packed it full of meetings, appointments and to-do’s. And you’re probably thinking “UGH HOW DID THIS HAPPEN…again?!”
Saying “No” Means Creating Boundaries Around Your Time
But if London taught me anything, it was that the sky doesn’t fall when you say no.
I spent three months in London. It’s a trip I planned, in part, to literally change the pace of my life. It took me physically leaving the country to help see where I needed boundaries in my life. Dramatic right? That wasn’t the only reason I went, but it certainly helped.
Before this, every time I made an attempt at slowing down, I’d slowly say yes to too much again. My days were full of commitments that sounded nice on paper, but in reality were not bringing me any joy. I was always busy doing the urgent work, and never the important.
Taking a big step back from my day-to-day life was the boundary I needed to start slowing down and going at the pace I craved. It helped me realize what I missed doing and what I didn’t miss at all.
When I was in London, I had this amazing excuse… “I’m sorry, but I’m currently living abroad so I can’t XYZ.” This glorious excuse freed me from my fear of saying no, because there was no other answer.
Slowing Down Still Comes with Plenty of FOMO
But here’s the reality about slowing down your life. It’s not easy. In fact, it’s really scary. When you can’t distract and numb yourself with overcommitment, work and other people’s problems, guess what happens? You have to face your true self, your true desires, your feelings, fears and all those big scary things that can be pushed aside when you’re always “too busy.” You have to face the important things that were never urgent enough to make the daily to-do.
Part of me wonders if it was my own self-doubt that filled up my schedule. If I’m left alone with my free time, I have to actually do the things I say I “never had time for.” What if I fail? Busy is a shield protecting you from important, deep and slow work.
Here were my biggest fears about slowing down
- what do I even do with my “slowed down” life
- when I’m still and present I’ll have to face the hard shit I keep putting off
- what if people think I’m lazy when I say no?
- what if I disappoint people by saying no?
- what if I miss out on an incredible opportunity?
- what if I leave money on the table?
- what if I fall behind?
When I was in London I did come up against these self-limiting beliefs. I found it hard to explain that I was basically taking a 3 month vacation. However, as I dug deeper I realized that people’s reactions were not negative, it was just my own fear making me believe they were judging me.
I felt my fears and the sky didn’t fall. I didn’t miss out. No one got mad with my boundaries. Whatever opportunities I “missed” were not for me.
Slowing down taught me
- Sleeping more is amazing
- Not being busy all the time helps me stay present and enjoy what I’m doing
- FOMO is almost always a result of my phone
- Taking the extra time to walk more gives me energy
- Focusing on being productive and busy brought me validation, not happiness or meaningful work
[Tweet “Sleep is amazing, boundaries are key, FOMO is your phone’s fault”]
Ok ok ok – you might be thinking “god Georgie are you trying to tell us to all move to another country so we can live slow down?!”
No. Not all. I don’t think I needed to move to London to learn these lessons. Nor did I need to make such a drastic change in my life. I think I could have learned ALL of that by changing one simple (not easy) thing:
In order to slow down, you need to change your priorities
Looking back, they were out of whack. Even though I value joy and energy, I was prioritizing productivity. I assumed that productivity would make me happy. But the more I got done, the more I wanted to get done and I wasn’t enjoying process, or feeling satisfied by the result. Just thirsty for more productivity.
I love the work I do. Whether it’s social media consulting, blogging, being a barista or designing. However I approached it with this mentality that I can only “have fun” when it’s over. I can only feel “good enough” when the to-do list is done. I thought if I did more, I was worth more. The result from prioritizing productivity was never feeling enough.
Changing the way you think and feel about your work and how you use your time, takes time. I have to consistently remind myself that my priority in life is creating joy, feeling energized and doing meaningful work. I have days where I frustrated that I haven’t “done enough.” But what does that ever mean?
Would I rather have a day where I take care of myself, learn something new, see people I love, eat good food and get a little work done or a day where I’m just getting a lot of work done? I think the answer is obvious, so I just have to keep retraining my brain to remember what I value.
Waiting until you’ve “done enough” to enjoy your life will having you waiting a long long time (i.e. forever.)
[Tweet “Waiting until you’ve “done enough” to enjoy your life will having you waiting a long long time (i.e. forever.)”]
I acknowledge that I won’t be able to stroll the streets of London, with an iced soy latte in hand, a podcast in ear just soaking it all in every day. However, I do know I can keep the inspiration, spirit of exploration and spontaneity of travel with me in small moments. And I’ll keep putting joy at the top of my to-do list. I hope it makes your list, too.
I just read Present Over Perfect. I began reading it at home and I wasn’t really enjoying it (I tend to fly through books just to know what happens). But then I took it with me on a short trip and read in my hotel room and the airport and just being away from home I slowed down and really enjoyed the book more! I traveled to Europe for 3 weeks last summer and it was amazing and I wish I could remember to integrate that more into my every day life – to explore, to calm down, to worry less, and to just enjoy!
Love this post! It’s helping me think about my current situation in a new way… I am not employed full-time at the moment, which has been a huge source of shame and frustration for me. I have so much free time and it’s taken me a while to be okay with that and to see it as a gift. I am a productivity-junkie as well so when the whole day goes by and the only productive things I’ve done is workout and make breakfast + lunch… I can go down a pretty crazy, negative mental spiral. Somewhere along the line, I’ve definitely started appreciating this laid-back lifestyle more and recognizing all the opportunities that lie within what I have been really deeming as an inopportune time of my life. I’ve gotten to spend so much time with my parents; I was 100% free to help both my mom and my grandmother when my grandfather passed this spring; I’ve cultivated new relationships in the wellness world; and I’ve been able to learn a lot more about myself, which as you shared, isn’t always easy and is definitely SCARY! Being alone and still is HARD. But, after being so rigid and strict with myself for most of my adult life, this lack of routine and structure is helping me to learn how to relax, how to live a life without rules, and how to be a lot more present. Plus, I know I won’t be unemployed forever (some things are starting to pop up on that front!) and someday, I will probably look back and miss this freedom!
OH YES! This makes me so excited, because I feel like every single person who works needs to read this post; I think most of us have schedules that are too full for us, but we do have a hard time saying, ‘No’ to the right things and ‘yes’ to the right things. I think as I watched you in London; I was learning from you about enjoying walks and slowing down and truly soaking in the work you have to do and enjoying it instead of racing from thing to thing. I’m so glad you learned so much there; it sounds like it was a tremendous growing experience.
It’s funny because I definitely did the same as you (except being a native londoner myself, I traveled to Australia at the time), to learn pretty much the same lesson.
I love how you learned this lesson in London, a city to me that is always on the go and never seems to want to stop, so that you found peace here really goes to show that every situation is what you make it.
I came to a point where I hated how the phrase “I’m so busy” would roll off my tongue so easily when I ran into friends or found myself at a family get together. In an instant, I decided I was done and that busy would never roll off my tongue again. That moment started a slower pace in my life and it is one I am so grateful happened this early on in my life. I can relate with having to go through the hard feeling and emotions that can come with saying ‘no’ and FOMO; and it is so so worth it. I’m finally getting to a place in my life where there is this sense of ease instead of rigidity – and it feels so damn good!
Totally. I’m in the process of rearranging my life right now bc I was feeling overwhelmed and that lovely burnout feeling was creeping up on me. Now it’s about finding what works and treating my time as a precious commodity!